


Ashes of Hopes

by Penguina



Category: X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Afterlife, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Charles Being Concerned, Charles Is a Big Dorkface, Charles Xavier has a Ph.D in Adorable, Cherik - Freeform, Demon posession, Demon!Raven, Erik Has Feelings, Erik has Issues, Erik is Crushing Harder than a 12-year Old Girl, F/M, Happy Ending, Hardly as dark as it sounds, Limbo, M/M, Sassy Raven, deal with a demon, trapped in limbo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-02-17 15:31:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13079892
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penguina/pseuds/Penguina
Summary: Charles and Erik are best friends, working together at Charles’ small cafe. Even though Erik has been in love with Charles for years, he keeps it to himself, sure that his love is unrequited. However, Erik has another, darker secret. Some people have guardian angels, Erik had a guardian demon. One day Erik dies and the demon decides to take Erik’s place among the living. At the same time Charles’ life falls apart when he receives a letter from his long-lost mother.---Based on this prompt byEvangeline74:A young inexperienced demon possess Erik. Erik loves Charles but is sure that his love is unrequited which disgusts the demon to no end. Charles lives miserable life with his stepfamily. Erik dies suddenly leaving the demon in his body. The demon tries to pretend to be him but does a poor job at it and is killed. Erik and the demon are then trapped in limbo where Erik still pines for Charles. The demon who has grown obsessed with Erik offers him a deal. The demon will make sure Charles escapes his family if Erik follows the demon to hell and joins the demon in unholy matrimony.





	1. Book 1: When Erik Was Alive

“This is remarkable, Erik! You’ve healed so quickly! I must say this is--” he searched for a better world but then eventually once again settled on, “remarkable.”  

“Yes, you said so already.” 

“It’s-- wow. I mean, there’s hardly a trace of it left.” 

“I guess chemo worked then.” Erik shrugged. 

“Apparently.” Dr. McCoy was still astounded. 

Erik arched an eyebrow. “Did you expect it not to work?” 

“No, of course not. But your results look like you’ve never even been sick at all! And that’s--” he was about to say  _ remarkable  _ again before catching himself. “Extraordinary.” 

“Well, count me extraordinary then.” Erik sucked in a deep breath. “Look, I’m healthy. You healed me. Surely we don’t have to keep talking about cancer forever. Right?” 

The doctor swallowed. “No, we don’t have to. Of course not.”  

“Good. So I assume we’re done here.” Without waiting for an answer -- that wasn’t a question after all -- Erik got up from the chair and heading towards the door. 

The young doctor blinked several times. Erik was such an unusual patient. “We still need you to come regularly for observation and--” 

“I’ll pass!” Erik said, shutting the door as he left the room. 

This was the end of visiting hospitals. Hospitals only ever brought him misery. Like when his parents died. He was a boy back then, he hadn’t known he should be making deals with demons to get his dreams come true, not praying to angels. He knew better now. 

When things got really bad, when his cancer asserted itself as his final companion, that’s when he met  _ her _ . Or  _ it _ . Did demons even have genders? It looked like a her. But she could change her faces, she could be a woman or a man, she could shapeshift into nearly anything. And she had power. Power to heal him. All he had to do was make a deal with her. So he did. And he was now cancer-free. Instead of his disease, he had a blue-scaled red-haired yellow-eyed demon to be his new constant companion, in life and death, till  _ nothing  _ did them apart. 

~*~  

Charles was tending the counter. He was a barista in a small cafe around the corner of the main street. It was a tiny little thing with pot of flowers on the storefront. The smell of hot drinks and chocolate hanging in the air. It was the last memory Charles had of his father and he was trying hard to preserve it in his little cafe. Being the barista and the owner, the worker and the employee was his life. He always poured his entire energy into this cafe but today his mind was elsewhere. Today his mind was on Erik, wondering how his latest appointment with the Dr. McCoy went. 

The day he found out Erik had cancer was the worst day in Charles’ life, right there with the day Charles’ father died. He was determined to help Erik any way he could and he was not giving up without a fight. Chemo had to be successful. Erik had to get better again. If anything would happen to Erik, Charles didn’t want to think what he’d do. 

~*~ 

“ _ That _ the reason you wanted to live?” the demon asked, glancing at Charles who was oblivious that Erik and his new fellow demon were observing him from across the street.

Erik frowned. “Why are you here?” 

It felt a lot like the demon had intruded on his privacy. He had forgotten he had no privacy anymore.

“Oh, you know why.  _ Our deal _ .” the demon smiled. Her lips twisted up in amusement. 

Erik huffed and said nothing. What could he say? She was right. 

“So tell me. Is this him? Your true love? Your soulmate?” 

Erik walked away and the demon followed. It was Erik’s own cross to bear that only he could see her. 

“Come on, Erik. Talk to me. You can’t ignore me for eternity. We’re buddies, aren’t we?” 

“I don’t have  _ buddies _ .” 

She chuckled. “You have  _ him _ .” 

Erik stopped in his tracks. He suddenly felt very sad. “He’s not mine.” 

There was so much pain in his voice that even the demon knew better than to pour salt into that particular wound. They walked in silence to Erik’s gloomy little flat. 

~*~ 

Charles. Charles was  _ everything _ . Charles was the living embodiment of all Erik ever loved after his parents died. The day he met Charles was forever embroidered in his memory. In retrospect that was the only good thing to happen on that horrible day. 

His parents had just died and Erik felt… There was no single word to express what Erik felt. Charles came to him that day when a 12-year old Erik was sobbing at his parents’ grave, not sure if life mattered to him anymore, confused from why something so unjust and wrong like his parents’ passing would ever happen. He wanted to die with them that day. They were all he had and he wanted to be with them more than anything in the world. It was then that he felt a small warm hand on his shoulder. It was another young boy, possibly younger than Erik himself. His big blue eyes were wet with tears but he was smiling -- a soft calm smile that bore a certain air of serenity around it. Erik remembered his first thought was that he’d seen an angel, finally answering his prayers to be with his parents. But it was Charles, and for Erik that was better than an angel. 

“It hurts, doesn’t it?” The boy said, his voice barely a whisper. It had a calming effect on Erik in the silence of the graveyard. “It’s unfair.” Erik only nodded, still incapable of speaking. “I’m here to visit someone too. My father. He lies over there. Died last year.” Erik followed the pointing hand of the young boy. There were fresh flowers in a pot next to the grave. Erik though it was odd, considering people usually brought plucked flowers to their deceased loved ones. When he looked at the young boy with a puzzled expression on his face the boy only chuckled. “My father liked living things. I didn’t want to bring him flower corpses.” 

Erik nodded. Somehow it made sense. He looked down at his parents’ graves again. The tears were back in his eyes, bursting with greater force. 

“There, there. I’m here.” the boy said but Erik couldn’t hear him anymore, his silent sobs were gagging him. For a moment he was not in the graveyard at all, he was back in his mother’s gentle embrace and feeling his father’s loving hand on his head. The image was so vivid he genuinely believed it was real. But the hand was too small to be his father’s. And Erik then realized those weren’t his mother’s arms, wrapped around him, they were Charles’; and it wasn’t his father’s hand stroking his hair, it was Charles’. He still found those arms comforting so he remained there, kneeling near the fresh graves of his parents, his face buried in the other boy’s chest. The two remained like that for a while, Charles squeezing him tightly into a warm-hearted embrace. 

Erik’s been Charles’ friend ever since. 

They practically grew up together, sharing each pain and blow life threw at them, smiling and laughing even when things got unbearable. It was Charles’ way. Always optimistic, ever so hopeful. 

Erik’s biggest fear when he was diagnosed with cancer was that if he died he’d be leaving Charles all alone in this world. Charles had no one. Charles needed Erik just as much as Erik needed Charles. Erik could never do this to him, Erik could never abandon him! He’d sign thousands of deals with thousands of demons just to make sure Charles was safe. He did what was necessary. 

~*~  

“Erik! Erik, what happened? What did the doctor say?” 

The demon was glaring at Charles but Charles didn’t even know it. Charles’ big blue eyes were instead glued on Erik, taking in the man’s slightest movement. 

“Well?” he insisted when Erik was taking his time to reply. 

“Right.” Erik cleared his throat. “I’m cured, Charles.” he said. “I’m alright now.” 

Charles beamed at him and then threw his arms around Erik’s shoulders, giving him a tight hug. “Oh, Erik! I’m so happy!” 

“Is he….  _ crying _ ?” The demon roller her eyes. “He’s  _ actually crying _ . What a wuss.” 

Erik groaned but he couldn’t tell her anything without alarming Charles as to why he was seemingly speaking to the air. She knew that and, by God, did she  _ love  _ taking advantage of it! 

“It’s alright, Charles. I’m here.” Erik said, letting his own arms find their way around Charles’ body. He closed his eyes, taking in the pleasant scent of Charles’ hair, enjoying the warmth even though he knew he had no right to.  _ Charles was not his. _

“Oh, boo-hoo! What’s so special about him anyway?” The demon frowned. 

Erik glowered at her again.  

“We need to celebrate!” Charles announced, pulling away from Erik and wiping the wetness from his eyes as he was beaming at his friend. Erik would love nothing more but to remain in that embrace forever but, naturally, he couldn’t tell Charles  _ that _ ! So he let the younger man prepare a special little dinner for just the two of them in his cafe, pull the shutters to give them more privacy and enjoy the company. 

~*~  

The demon shifted into Charles’ form. 

“Cut that out.” Erik groaned, pushing her away. 

“Isn’t this what you want?” she said. Even her voice was like Charles’. She could copy everything to the slightest detail, to the last little freckle. Erik had to look away. 

“Not like this.” 

“Oh, come on. Don’t be a killjoy! Just because I’m a demon doesn’t mean we can’t--” 

“I said no!” Erik barked and stormed to the bathroom. 

She slumped down on the couch with a puff. “I can teleport too, y’know.” she called after him. When he didn’t reply she actually did teleport. “I said, I can teleport, too.” 

Erik jumped startled. “Damn you!” he cried out. 

“Too late for that. I’m already pretty damned.” She grinned. Apparently this was her idea for fun. 

At least she didn’t look like Charles anymore. That was a relief. 

“I’m trying to bond here, okay?” she said, not giving him much personal space. “You know, I’m not  _ that  _ bad just because I’m a demon. I’m just…  _ inexperienced _ .” she almost looked vulnerable but only for a second. “You’re a good learning experience for me. I’ll get better during your lifetime, short as it is. Because you humans, pfft, you die like flies. Like  _ really  _ fast. So fast it’s ridiculous--” 

“Okay, I get it! We die! Move on!” Erik interrupted her annoyed. 

She smirked again, leaning on his shoulder. “You’re interesting. Not like other humans.” 

“Do you  _ know  _ any other humans?” he asked, rather pointedly. 

“No.” She frowned with a pout. “But that’s beside the point.” 

“Right.” he huffed and rolled his eyes, turning towards the sink to brush his teeth. “And besides, it’s not the length of a life that matters.” 

She laughed. “Don’t give me the  _ size doesn’t matter  _ talk.”  

Her laughter sounded…  _ normal _ , considering she was a demon. It was the first time Erik could hear her actual laughter but for some reason the fact that it sounded so human made it creepier. 

“Leave me alone, will you?” he sighed, exasperated. 

She took a step away from him, looking all serious. “We have a deal. I heal your cancer, you let me practice on you. I did my part of the deal. Now’s your turn. No backsies.” 

Erik groaned again. “I know! I’m not backing out of our deal, I’m only asking for some privacy.” 

She tilted her head. “Privacy?” 

Her childlike wonder at the world was almost comical. 

“Charles.” Erik clarified, trying not to lose his temper again now when the demon seemed to show understanding. “Leave Charles out of it.” 

“Why?” she asked quickly, eyebrows furrowing as if expecting to be cheated somehow. 

“Because! Just do it!” Erik blurted out. Then added quietly. “Please.” 

She was silent for a few seconds, her head still tilting from one side to the other. 

“Any other requests?” she asked, sarcasm oozing from her as she crossed her hands over her chest. 

“Yes.” Erik decided to be bald. “Don’t hang around me 24/7. I need at least a couple of hours on my own.” 

“To daydream about what it’d be like if Charles reciprocated your feelings?” she asked, arching an eyebrow. He looked her in the face and could see she knew exactly what she was saying. She wanted to piss him off. 

“Fuck you! It’s my life!” He yelled. 

“Debatable.” She said matter-of-factly. 

“It is!” Erik insisted. 

“If that’s what you prefer to think.” She gave him a too-polite smile. 

Erik pursed his lips, realizing there was no point arguing with her. 

“You’re sort of mine.” she said, smiling some more. He couldn’t quite determine if she was being mean or genuine. Yet her words were truthful. He really was sort of hers now. And he’d better get used to it. Once again he reminded himself why he was doing all this. For Charles. Charles was his everything. Charles was his life. But if Charles was Life, then Erik was definitely Death. 

~*~

The next day when Erik went to work he found Charles puzzled, holding a letter in his hands. Erik took off his coat and approached. 

“Something wrong?” he asked. 

“It’s a-- a letter f-from my m-mother.” Charles said, stuttering slightly. “I-- I haven’t even met her. She left my dad and me when I was only a couple of months old….” 

Erik swallowed. He knew the story. “What does she want?” 

Charles looked up at him.  _ Big blue innocent eyes _ , Erik thought. 

“She wants to see me.” Charles replied, not believing it himself even as he was uttering the words. 

“Are you going to?” 

Charles sucked in a deep breath. “I-- I think so. She’s my mother after all. If she wants to see me, talk to me, explain to me why she left, I’d like to know I’ve given her a chance to do so.” 

Charles was a kind soul. He was precious. Erik wouldn’t have given that wretched woman a second chance if he were in Charles’ shoes. But Charles wanted to do what’s right. Even if it caused him pain. 

Erik could tell how deeply moved his dear friend was by that letter. He wished he was good with words so that he’d be able to say the right things to Charles. But he was better at acting than speaking. So instead, he wrapped an arm around Charles’ shoulders, pressing a kiss to his hair and reassuring him that he was there for him. 

“Does it even matter anymore?” the demon asked teasingly, appearing right beside them. “It would appear Charles is no longer alone. He seems to have a new family now. Where do you fit in  _ that _ ?” 

Erik’s face faltered a little and the demon started laughing. It wasn’t the human-like laughter from the previous night. It was a terrifying, sardonic, maniacal laugh that could freeze a person’s blood. Luckily for the world, only Erik could hear it. 


	2. Book 2: When Erik Died

Erik woke up in a strange place. He felt rather confused as he slowly realized he had no idea where he was. He didn’t know this place, it didn’t look like anything he new, and he had no memories of how he got there at all. 

“Demon!” Erik yelled, his gut telling him that whatever this was his demon was to blame. “Demon, show yourself!” He demanded again.

Silence. 

There was nothing, nothing at all. It was most unnerving. 

Slowly he decided to take a look around and investigate this strange place. 

It felt like…  _ shadows _ . That was the only word he could come up with. Everything around him seemed like shadows, with little light that gave the impression of a black and white movie rather than actual illumination. The strangest thing of all was that Erik  _ himself  _ felt like a shadow. 

How does one  _ feel like a shadow _ ?How was that even possible? There was no such thing, _ feeling like a shadow _ . And yet, that was the perfect description for it. Erik felt like a shadow in this shadow world. 

“Demon, this isn’t funny. You proved your point, now pull me out of here!” 

The quiet whisper of a wind that he could not sense surrounded him but there was no sign of the demon. No sign of anyone really. Erik felt all alone and yet not completely alone, both at the same time. Contradictions were thriving in this Shadowrealm, it would seem, for it was cold and yet Erik himself didn’t feel cold, it was dark and yet Erik could see clearly, it was lonesome and yet Erik knew there was someone or some _ thing  _ else there. 

“Where am I?” Erik asked quietly and grimaced. “Why can’t I remember?” 

~*~  

_ Some time earlier…  _

“It’ll be alright, Charles.” Erik assured him. “If you don’t want to be around her anymore, if it’s upsetting you, you can always leave. You owe her  _ nothing _ . She gave you up.” 

Charles sighed with a nod, looking down at the letter he still had in his hands. “I know. I won’t endure anything I don’t think I can take, Erik. I won’t let her hurt me. I just need to give her a chance, that’s all. An explanation. My father never got one and I believe we are both entitled to it. I am owed an explanation on his behalf.” 

Erik could understand that. His hand found Charles’ and he gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Want me to come with you?” he offered. 

Charles shook his head. “There’s no need. I can handle it.” 

A soft smile graced Charles’ face and Erik felt his heart skipping a beat, his breath hitching, his palms sweating as his cheeks heated up. The embarrassment was complete, Erik thrown in a disarray just by one simple smile. 

Quickly he pulled his hand to himself and looked awkwardly down at his shoes. Damn, he was pathetic! These feelings… he was not supposed to feel them for Charles. Charles would  _ never _ \-- 

He suppressed a sigh. He’d known the true extend of his feelings for Charles for some time now. But he never allowed himself to even consider telling Charles. Charles would never reciprocate. Even if it was tearing him apart, burning his very soul. Unrequited love sure hurt as hell. 

He felt Charles’ arms wrap around him again, pulling him out of his gloomy thoughts. 

“Thank you, Erik.” Charles whispered to his ear, pressing Erik tightly to his chest as he embraced him. “I love you.” 

Erik swallowed. “I love you, too.” he said, his throat closing. 

Charles, of course, oblivious and kind-hearted as always, meant it in a friendly, brotherly way. Erik, on the other hand, smitten with love and burning with desire, meant it in the way a beloved said it to their loved one. 

Charles went to see his mother at the address she had left for him in the letter -- a mansion in Westchester, according to Charles’ research. It was quite a distance which meant that Charles was probably going to be away for the entire day, maybe even the day after, depending on how his meeting with his mother went. So Erik was to look after the cafe. He didn’t mind. He liked the work and he was good at it. He was not afraid of doing Charles’ work as well. However, it was slightly annoying to have the demon by his side all the time. 

“So what are you doing now?” the demon asked while Erik was cleaning the floor before opening the cafe. 

“You  _ see  _ what I’m doing.” Erik replied grumpily. 

“What are you doing now?” the demon asked a few minutes later when Erik was preparing coffee. 

“You know what I’m doing.” Erik groaned. He had to be careful not to lose his temper because customers were beginning to arrive at the cafe and he didn’t want to appear like he was talking to himself. He shouldn’t look like a man possessed by a demon, even if he sort of was. 

The day past with Erik managing to ignore the demon as best he could while taking care of all the customers almost as politely as Charles usually did. 

“And what are you doing  _ now _ ?” the demon asked again while Erik was handing an auburn haired woman her coffee. 

“Will you shut up already!?” he gasped, startling the poor woman. “I’m sorry…. I wasn’t talking to you….” 

She pursed her lips, hands on her hips. 

“I really am sorry. Here, your coffee’s on the house.” 

“I don’t want it now, thank you.” she barked back and walked out. 

Erik groaned and huffed. Luckily she was the last customer so Erik’s embarrassment was limited to only one witness. This, however, did not make things that much better. The moment the door with the little bell on top of it was closed Erik charged towards the demon. 

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing!? It was never in our agreement that I have to deal with your constant nagging! You’re so fucking annoying! I need to work! I can’t act like a crazy person in front of customers! I said we need ground rules. So here are they. Rule one: leave Charles out of it. Rule two: privacy. And now introducing Rule 3: you don’t screw with me when I’m working! You can’t just--” 

He suddenly gasped and his voice cracked. A powerful grasp gripped his entire body, so tightly he could hardly breathe or move. Talking was definitely out of the question. Breaking free from the invisible grasp was not an option either, despite how hard Erik tried to release himself. The force holding him was supernatural, he could not fight it. He could only surrender at the mercy of the creature before him. 

The demon’s yellow eyes were pierced on him, intent, hard and determined. She walked slowly towards him, getting uncomfortably close. 

“You’re forgetting yourself, little meatsuit.” she hissed without raising her voice. “I  _ own  _ you now. I can do anything I want with you.” As if to prove her point she flicked his forehead with her blue fingers. Her voice remained just as calm, although the look in her eyes hardened. “You can’t talk to me like that. You can’t treat me like I’m some tiny human. I’m more than you’ll ever be. If you disrespect me like that ever again, I’ll cut off your tongue. And then I’ll just keep cutting until there’s no you left. Do you understand?” 

Erik’s heart was beating fast, he could hear it pulsing in his ears. 

“Blink once if you understand; twice if you don’t.” 

He blinked once.

She smirked. “Good.” 

Then she let go and he fell on the floor like a sack of potatoes, coughing and gasping for air. He was so disoriented that for a small millisecond he thought there was someone at the window, watching them. But then the shadow was gone and there was only darkness outside. 

_ Outside _ , Erik thought with desperation,  _ I want outside _ ! _ I want away!  _

Oh, how he wanted out! He wanted-- he made such a mistake! Such a  _ huge gigantic  _ mistake! He should’ve never struck that deal with the demon, what was he thinking!? Charles didn’t need him! Erik wasn’t that special. Charles now had his mother back, he was going to have a real family now. His mother would protect him, Erik was redundant. 

His eyes remained fixed on the door, craving air, craving freedom. He stumbled towards it, opening it with force and then running out on the street as fast as his trembling legs would permit him. 

He thought he heard the demon scream at him in the distance, “Erik! Erik, what in the name of me are you doing!?”, but he didn’t care. He didn’t listen. He kept running in the darkening street until suddenly bright lights shone straight into his eyes, startling him and freezing him in one place. 

“Shit!” he thought but before he could say it it was over. Everything happened so quickly. The lights, the car horn, the sound of the breaks, a few shocked screams and then -- nothingness. 

~*~  

_ Now… _

Erik’s jaw slacked at the memory. 

“I’m dead.” he realized. “That’s it, right? I died. I got hit by a car right in front of Charles’ cafe.” 

The thought was… sad. It was sad because he could imagine Charles looking at the spot where Erik’s blood was spilled. He could see Charles’ tears and hear his sobs. 

_ “Thank you, Erik! I love you!”  _

Charles did mean those words. Charles did love Erik like a brother. And that love was just as precious to Erik. The two practically grew up together. They raised one another, in a way. Even if Charles didn’t need Erik, even if he had a family now, he’d still be heartbroken by Erik’s death. And Erik hated that thought. 

“Demon?” Erik heard his voice from a distance, cracking and weak. “Demon, come back! Please…. I want another deal…. I want to go back… I want Charles to be alright! Please….” 

No one replied to his pleading. No one heard another begging shadow in the world of the dead. 

~*~ 

The demon walked slowly towards Erik’s lifeless body in the middle of the street. The driver was getting out of the car, terrified of what he’d done --  _ Oh, my God, I think I killed him! _ \-- while a few passersby were already gathered in a circle. In the distance sirens were approaching. No one saw the demon. Only Erik could see her, after all. She looked down at him with a frown of confusion. Tilting her head, she leaned in slightly as if seeing him from up close would suddenly make more sense to her. 

She’d seen death but it was different when it was someone she knew. Curiosity took over. What did it feel like, death? What was it to be this fragile that the simplest of things could end the miracle of life in an instant? Was it worth it at all if one could lose it so prosaically? 

She reached out for him with her blue scaled hand. The difference between them, the contrast of their skin, was glaringly obvious, especially now when his face was so pale by the touch of Death. She was not like him. But she  _ could  _ be… Possession in its entirety was something she’d never done before. But how hard could it be? Just enter the body and control it. Piece of cake. Erik was a meatsuit like any other. And she could use the practice. She was aware of the theory, she only needed to… 

Erik’s body jerked in a sudden movement, startling everyone on the road. His eyes opened widely as the man gasped for air with a loud cry. 

“Get away! Everyone get away!” Someone in the crowd shouted. “He needs space!” 

She was still making those strange gaspy sounds as she sucked in as much air as she could. Being human felt so different! Painful at first, she was unused to all the sensations. She was unused to senses the way humans felt them. 

Erik’s body still hurt from the impact. She had to quickly heal it physically in order to possess him properly. 

“Mister? Mister, are you okay?” Some guy asked. 

She glared at him with anger. “What kind of a dumb idiotic question is  _ that _ ?” she groaned annoyed. “I just got hit by a car! How can I be okay?” 

An auburn haired woman made her way through the crowd of people, taking Erik by the arm. 

“It’ll be alright. Let me help. I’ll take you back to your cafe.” she said, a friendly smile spreading across her face. 

The demon nodded. “Yes. Do.” she said in Erik’s voice. 

~*~ 

The auburn haired woman was the same meatsuit Erik yelled at a moment ago, the demon remembered as they got in the cafe. The woman made her sit down on one of the chairs and went to get water for Erik’s head. 

“I’m sorry for judging you earlier. I take it you had quite the bad day.” she said, as she carefully placed a wet cloth on Erik’s forehead. “I’m Moira, by the way. Moira MacTaggert.” 

“Ra-- Erik.” the demon said. “Erik Lehnsherr.” 

“Well, here’s to second impressions.” Moira smiled and shook the demon’s hand. 

_ Moira MacTaggert _ , the demon thought. There was something about her but the demon couldn’t tell exactly what it was yet. She was somehow different. But it was probably unimportant. Rule number one in demon school: Humans are Unimportant. 

However, living as a human sounded like a promising experience sure to bring relevant and interesting knowledge. Where it would lead her, she didn’t know yet. But she was ready to find out. 


	3. Book 3: When Charles Was in Westchester

Charles arrived at Westchester in the late afternoon. For a few minutes he just gaped at the huge mansion in front of him, not quite sure what his mother would be doing at such a place. Then he noticed the big stylized X at the front and found it most peculiar. It was the same stylized X his father used to doodle whenever his hands were idle. As a boy Charles had always assumed the  _ X _ stood for  _ Xavier _ . But now he wondered if it had some other meaning that Charles was unaware of. 

He sucked in a deep breath and rang the doorbell. 

It took some time before there was any movement at all coming from the inside of the mansion. Not surprisingly, really, considering the size of that thing! Charles waited. And waited. And then finally the door slowly opened with a creek.  

It was all so surreal and slightly creepy. Everything about this place made Charles feel like a character in a gothic novel. He almost expected the inhabitants of this old manor to be vampires or hide a secret lab in the basement or perhaps keep a tormented beast in their dungeons. Of course, neither of those could be true. Charles was only suffering from overactive imagination, as he sometimes did. That combined with anxiety about finally meeting his mother. 

When he pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind, Charles noticed there was a person standing in front of him, holding the door and tilting his head with confusion. The man was no Igor, but it was still close enough. The raven-black hair was in contrast with pale blue eyes and a scar across the cheek. His skin was peculiar as well -- a strange, almost red color that seemed quite unusual. But it wasn’t the man’s looks that were so odd for Charles; it was his behavior. There was something sinister about him even though Charles couldn’t tell what it was exactly.  

“Yeees?” the man drawled, voice low and deep. 

“Hello,” Charles greeted pleasantly, “I’m Charles Xavier and I’m here t-to--” 

The man’s pale blue eyes went wide and he urgently pulled Charles inside, closing the heavy door behind them. 

“What are you doing here?” The man half-whispered, still looking quite agitated. 

“I’m here to see Sharon.” Charles replied, puzzled at the way the stranger was looking at him. “Sharon Xavier?” he added. 

He hoped dearly that she still went by that name. It was sad really that he didn’t know with certainty what his mother was called. He was aware her name was Sharon but it was very possible she changed her last name after she left his father. 

The man did not seem confused by the name so perhaps she remained an Xavier after all. Which was odd but perhaps a good sign? 

“She died early this morning.” he told Charles. 

There was no much sadness in the announcement. It sounded rather mundane and more ordinary than it should. Charles felt his world crumbling down. 

“What….” he whispered, instinctively reaching for something to grab hold of. The closest thing was the wall. He shook his head, pale as a deadman himself. “No, she can’t be dead….” 

“But she is.” the man insisted. “Would you like to see her body?” 

Charles’ hands were cold as ice, his face ashen and sickly. “Yes.” he said firmly. “Yes, I want to see her.”  

He was showed in. The door creaked behind them as it closed. Charles followed the slow steps of the man he presumed was the butler of the manor. Their path went through halls, corridors and staircases that any sane person could get lost in. Charles did not even look at the house itself. He was walking without thinking, without observing. He just walked with a dreadful taste in his stomach. 

His mother. He had only gotten her letter a day ago and now she was dead. He was too late. Too late to see her face, too to hear her explanation. Too late to  _ meet  _ her. He was going to at least see what she looked like now. How sorrowful it was that during his first conscious encounter with her, there would only be her body left to see. 

The butler stopped and Charles realized they were standing in front of a closed door.  _ Her room _ . 

The butler opened the door for him. The bedroom seemed darkened and bleak on the inside. For a short moment Charles found himself unable to move, frozen there in front of his mother’s chamber. He quickly pulled himself together and crossed the doorframe, entering the room.  

The dim light, the stillness of the air surrounded him instantly. Silence reigned in this kingdom. 

Charles took another step towards the bed where she was lying still. The sound of his heartbeat was pulsing loudly in his ears as he looked at Sharon Xavier. Her face was shrouded in shadows. Her arms rested calmly on top of her chest. There were no flowers, no candles. Nothing to indicate this was a dead person’s bedchamber. 

Charles had million questions racing through his head. What caused her death? Did she suffer? Did it end quickly? Had she mentioned him at all? Did she leave a message for him, last words or perhaps another letter? He had sincerely hoped to get to know her but that seemed impossible now. Even though he never knew her in life, had no memories of her, she was still his mother and he felt sadness rising in his heart upon seeing her like this. A sadness over something that could've been but never will be. A sadness over a motherly cares he’ll never be able to feel.  

As he approached the bed Charles realized there was someone else in the room also. A figure of a man, tall and rather burly, came out from the shadows. Charles squinted his eyes, trying to make up the man’s face. 

“Hello?” Charles took a careful step closer. 

“Charles. It’s been so long.” the man said, most of him still remaining in the shadows.

For some reason his voice gave Charles the chills. 

“I’m Kurt Marko, your mother’s husband. Good to finally meet you.” 

~*~  

“I understand you’re grieving, Charles, but there are certain things we need to discuss.” Kurt Marko said, reclining in a chair not far from Sharon’s cold body. There was something grotesque about this whole scene. The husband sitting unperturbed near his wife’s corpse, wishing to discuss business with her son. 

Charles swallowed, his eyes unable to look away from his mother. 

“Oh? Are you sure  _ now  _ is the right time?” he asked, voice shaking slightly. 

“Now is as good a time as any, my boy. There’s no point in delaying it.” he said, clapping his hands together with vigor. 

Carles felt a cold shiver down his spine for being called _ Marko’s boy _ . 

“Would you rather do this here or in my study?” Marko asked. 

Charles imagined having a ‘discussion’ of any kind with his dead mother lying there still and cold. 

“Your study would be a better choice, I believe.” he then replied. 

“Good.” Kurt Marko said, rising from his chair and heading towards the door. “Shall we?” 

“C-can I just say goodbye first?” Charles asked, hinting that he wanted to be alone with his mother before having to talk to anyone at this moment. 

“You hardly knew her. What could you possibly have to say goodbye to?” Was the man’s rather insensitive response. 

Not wishing to cause unnecessary conflicts, Charles bit his lower lip and gave a slight nod as he followed Kurt Marko to his study. 

“How did she die?” Charles asked as they walked. 

Kurt Marko remained just as undisturbed as earlier. “We’ll talk when we have some privacy.” 

Charles frowned.  _ There’s no one around,  _ he wanted to say but again swallowed his remark and followed the man silently. 

Kurt Marko’s study was huge, so was his desk, his chair and the giant dead animals on the wall. Charles felt much like prey in here but perhaps it was just the general vibe of the mansion. Perhaps it was his overactive imagination again. 

“Sit.” Kurt Marko said, assuming his own place behind the desk. 

Charles sat down. 

“What do you know of your mother, Charles?” 

“Not much.” Charles admitted. “She left shortly after I was born. I was hoping to get to know her more but--” 

“How did you find her? And why now?” 

“I received a letter from her. I wasn’t imposing, I got invited!” he clarified pointedly. The idea of this man thinking Charles had some sort of an ulterior motive coming here was repulsive to him. Seeing that Kurt Marko was obviously wealthy, Charles didn’t want it to appear as though money was what he was after.  

Kurt Marko chuckled at Charles’ declaration. “It’s alright, Charles. You don’t need to get defensive, I was only curious.” 

Charles sucked in another deep breath. “Is there something specific you have to tell me, Mr. Marko, or can I now ask my own questions about my mother and her death?” 

“Your mother died last night, unexpectedly, from heart failure.” Marko said quickly as if to get it over with, eyebrows drawn together. “It’s tragic. She’ll be dearly missed.” 

“She’s always been….” Charles whispered more to himself than to Marko. His mind once again wandered back to lonely years without knowing a mother’s love. He felt tears gather in his eyes so he quickly pushed the memories to the back of his head, blinking rapidly as he faced Marko again. “Has she spoken of me? Do you have any idea why she contacted me now instead of earlier?” 

Kurt Marko shrugged. “I cannot say why now. Perhaps her weakened health made her sentimental.” 

“But you said her illness was sudden and unexpected. Are you saying she suspected something would happen to her?” 

“That’s not what’s important here.” Kurt Marko said, waving his hands about. “We can only make assumptions about her reasons but we cannot know anything with certainty. We do, however, have more pressing matters to address.” 

“Her funeral?” 

“Your restaurant.” 

Charles frowned. “I don’t have a restaurant. It’s a cafe and I don’t see what does that have to do with--” 

“Tomayto, tomahto. Cafe or restaurant, it is the topic of this conversation and it has  _ everything  _ to do with your mother’s death.”

“I’m afraid I do not follow.” 

“Your cafe is no longer yours, I’m afraid.” 

“You are mistaken.” Charles said, getting irritated by the way Marko spoke to him. “I inherited my cafe from my father. It was in his will. I’ve taken good care of it ever since. There’s no legal way anyone could take it from me. There’s simply no reason.”  

“Ah, but you see, that’s exactly where you’re wrong.” Kurt Marko said with a patronizing smile. “You’ve been lied to, Charles. You see, the cafe never belonged to your father in the first place. It was mine. I let Brian Xavier work there as if it were his own because your mother asked me of it. You were too young to know those things back then, it’s normal you  _ assumed  _ the cafe belonged to your father. When he died your mother made a deal with me to give it to you. She was worried you’d be penniless on the streets. She was a kind woman. Anyway, she didn’t want you to know she was involved in all that so we arranged everything to look as though you inherited it from Brian.” He made a small pause and then continued, “However, your mother’s dead now. And you’re a grown man. I have no reason to keep up the charade. I want my cafe back. So, here we are.” 

Charles was dumbfounded. “S-she was looking after me?” 

Annoyance finally showed on Kurt Marko’s face. “You weren’t supposed to take only  _ that  _ from my words. The point is, you’re out of a job.” 

“But the documents say--”

“Documents, shmocuments! The documents say whatever I want them to say. I still have the actual deed for the cafe, it’s quite legal and there isn’t much you can do about it.” He slid a folder in Charles’ direction. “Yours is a sham. You can consult your lawyers too, of course, but they’ll tell you the same.” 

Charles took the folder in his cold trembling hands and opened it. What Kurt had said was true. His cafe was indeed in Marko’s name, there was even Sharon Xavier’s signature on every paper. 

Charles almost dropped the papers as he saw this. His world crumbled for a second time today. His cafe was his life. It was not only a source of income, it was a cherished memory from his father. Losing the cafe felt a lot like losing his father all over again. 

He felt weak. He wanted to go home but then he realized there was no home for him to go to anymore. 

“I understand you must be in shock. It’s been a rough day for you.” Kurt Marko’s voice boomed in the room once again. “But I assure you, I’m not the enemy here. The cafe really is mine, as you can see. However, I want to help you, as much as I can under the circumstances. I offer you a position. I’ll let you manage the cafe, like your father did. I’ll ask for a mere formality of a rent and you will keep the roof over your head. I’m doing this for your mother whom I loved dearly.” His hand rested on Charles’ shoulder, startling him. “How’s that for a deal?” 

Charles was still processing. “Um….” 

“It’s alright. You can think about it and let me know later. We’ll keep in touch from now on. After all, you’ve got yourself a family, Charles.” 

The large hand remained on Charles shoulder, heavy and foreign, weighing down on him. 

Charles swallowed. “Thank you, Mr. Marko.” he said in a small voice. 


	4. Book 4: When Raven Was Erik

Being Erik Lehsnherr was peculiar. Feeling like Erik Lehnsherr? Well, that was a different thing. The demon did not  _ feel  _ like Erik. No one could feel like Erik but Erik. Although other humans could empathise, more or less. The demon couldn’t. But it didn’t matter. She could still pull this off. What could go wrong anyway? People were insignificant. No one could do anything about it. She could get all her learning experience from this little masquerade and wasn’t that fantastic? 

She looked at herself in the mirror. Erik’s face was staring back at her. The hard line on his forehead more prominent than usually, more stern than when he looked at Charles. His lips pursed into a thin line. Was she the one doing this or was it the body having a mind of its own? As if judging her for stealing Erik’s place. 

She huffed. 

“I’m not stealing it.  _ You  _ gave it up.  _ You  _ died. You were stupid enough to  _ die _ .” she told the reflection. Then rolled her eyes because how silly was it to try and justify herself to a possessed man’s reflection. Erik was probably already in Hell. 

She didn’t think of Charles until she saw him in the cafe the next morning. And the reason she was in that cafe again was because it was what Erik did every day so she wanted to do a good job passing for him. But Charles she had sort of forgotten about. 

“Oh, right. The  _ smoll  _ one.” She sighed to herself slightly exasperated at the sight of the little rat. 

Charles did not pay her much attention, remaining hunched in one of the chairs and looking around the cafe as if trying to memorize the place. He seemed tired and somehow older. His face was paler than usual, like a deadman. She noticed because it was a nice shade of the color. 

In short, Charles was boring as usual. 

She decided to make herself a coffee. Now that she had a human body she could actually taste the hot brown liquid Erik spent so much time preparing and serving every day. Being a demon, the experience would still hardly be as fulfilling for her as it was for an actual human but it was close enough and she was having fun with it. Besides, she was determined to try  _ everything _ . 

The sound of the coffee machine pulled Charles out of his strange stupor. He looked up with those blue eyes Erik so often daydreamed about. 

“Erik!” Charles said, a small weak smile spreading across his face. He seemed relieved somehow. Perhaps happy to see his friend? It was still rather tricky to read people. Ugh.  _ Stupid Charles _ ! “I’m so glad you’re here.” The smile grew slightly wider and warmer. 

The demon frowned. “Of course, I’m here. Where else could I be? I’ve been here every day but do you notice? No. Do you care? No. Only when you need me, only then you notice. You people exhibit such selfishness all the time and then  _ we’re _ the bad guys. It’s unfair. Humans are the real demons, believe you me.” 

Charles blinked at her with a puzzled expression on his face, his ridiculously cherry lips slightly open in surprise. 

“What?” she snapped, getting annoyed at him again. Charles Xavier always managed to enrage her. Even back when Erik was alive and she didn’t even have to interact with him.  

“Um, nothing.” Charles muttered, shaking his head and glancing at his hands awkwardly. “I guess you need your morning coffee. I’ll leave you to it.” 

That said, he got up from the chair and started cleaning the floor to prepare the place for the customers. 

The demon returned to preparing her morning cup of coffee. They remained silent, however she noticed Charles was stealing glances at her every now and then.  

“Could you stop staring at me?” she finally blurted out. Erik’s voice sounded as annoyed as she felt. “If you find me  _ that  _ attractive, you should’ve said something sooner.” 

Charles’ face went bright red in a matter of seconds. “I’m s-sorry, I didn’t mean t-to--” 

“I hate when you stutter. Don’t stutter.” 

“S-sorry.” Charles mumbled, embarrassed and bit his lower lip. 

That taught him to stop staring at Erik’s body like that. The demon felt oddly satisfied about it. 

Her coffee was ready and she sat at the counter like Erik sometimes did to drink it. It tasted…. bitter. But it was supposed to so she was expected to like it. She didn’t. 

Charles was still fumbling around with the broom.  _ Annoying little thing _ ! When he was done with the floor he put the broom back in its place and approached Erik again. He cleared his throat in an obvious attempt to start another conversation.

“I was surprised you didn’t ask me about Westchester.” he said.  

The demon grimaced. “What about Westchester?” 

“My visit there. My-- my mother?”  

The demon put away the cup and looked at Charles unimpressed. “Should I care about it?” 

At Charles’ horrified/hurt expression she realized that Erik  _ would have cared _ . Erik would’ve grovelled in Charles’ feet, trying to please him and doing his best to  _ ‘be by Charles’ side’  _ as he would put it. So she -- as Erik -- had to at least give that a try. 

She let out a loud breath. It wasn’t easy to pretend to like Charles Xavier. “If you’re going to mumble, I’ll lose interest. If there’s something I should know, just tell me without all this extra drama.” she said. 

Charles swallowed and nodded. “You’re right, of course. I am rather nervous to tell you. It’s just-- not easy for me. Erik, there’s been a-- a  _ development _ .” 

The demon arched an eyebrow. Even she with her bad human skills could tell that Charles was feeling distressed. 

“There’s no simple way of saying this, Erik. My mother died.” 

“Uh-huh?” 

“She was dead when I got to Westchester. It was quite a blow. I couldn’t even meet her.” 

He hung his head down and seemed like he was holding in tears. What would Erik do? 

The demon placed her hand on Charles’ shoulder and tried to sound like she cared. 

“And that is sad. Right? It makes you feel sad?” 

Charles nodded. “Very sad.” 

“That  _ is  _ sad.” the demon agreed too. 

_ Stupid Charles! Even in his sadness he still had to be overwhelming.  _

“And that’s not everything.” Charles said, wiping at his eyes and looking up at Erik once again. “We lost the cafe.”  

“We did?” 

Another nod. “I swear I didn’t know! It’s a really stupid, terrible story.” 

“I bet it is.” 

“Had I known…. But I didn’t even suspect.” 

And then Charles told the demon the entire sodding story. She had to listen to it all, including the little interruptions every time Charles needed to blow his nose or suppress a sob or pause for a hiccup. It was getting on the demon’s nerves. 

Eventually she couldn’t stand it anymore and let out a low groan. “You always do that, Charles, you’re always such a whining little brat--” 

Charles’ face did something most peculiar and he threw himself at Erik, wrapping his arms around the man’s neck. 

“Um….” The demon remained motionless and stiff. 

“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry, Erik!” Charles sobbed, pressing his face to Erik’s chest. 

The demon was most confused. Not quite sure what to do exactly she remained very very still while Charles kept pressing himself to Erik’s body as if seeking something from it. Comfort perhaps? Some kind of security? Why was he expecting to get that from Erik? 

“I put you in such a bad position too! You love this cafe as much as I do and now… There’s nothing I can do! We lost our cafe! You know what it means to me, and I know what it means to you! It’s like a home to us both. Oh, Erik! What am I going to do?” 

The sobbing did not seem to end. Charles was still tightly wrapped around Erik’s body and the demon began to feel like suffocating. In a desperate attempt to set herself free from this octopus of a man she took his hands in hers, putting some distance between the two and tried that look Erik had in his eyes whenever he gazed at Charles.  

“You feel bad and terrible but you shouldn’t.” she said clumsily. Charles was looking at her, taking in her every word as if what Erik had to say were as important to him as oxygen. She continued, doing her best imitation of Erik so far. “I can see you’re upset and crying but it’s really not that big a deal.” Charles frowned slightly at those words. She ignored it. “You see, it’s just a cafe. And it’s quite a small one too.”  

Charles tilted his head slightly. “Um, I appreciate you trying to…. cheer me up…. but we both know this was never just a cafe to us. It was a home. I always thought it a memory of my father. I remember helping him around when I was a kid. He loved this cafe so much….” Charles smiled even though there were silent tears sliding down his cheeks. He had this faraway look on his face. Very strange. “This is more than a cafe, Erik. I can’t tell myself that it isn’t. Losing this place is-- well, it’s painful.” 

Charles looked down at his hands again. The demon contemplated her next action.  _ What would Erik do? _ It was so difficult to talk like Erik. She decided to act instead. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to Charles’ cheek. The skin felt warm and wet from the tears. The sensation was--  _ indescribable _ ! She hadn’t felt anything like it before! No wonder Erik daydreamed about doing something like this so often. 

Erik’s lips remained pressed to Charles’ cheek a bit longer than she expected. For some inexplicable reason she couldn’t make herself remove them. Charles was very still during this whole thing. It wasn’t every day that Erik gave him kisses. So perhaps in retrospect this wasn’t the best idea after all. Maybe this kiss wasn’t what Erik  _ would  _ do but more like what Erik  _ wanted  _ to do. Oops?

She pulled away and returned to drinking her coffee with as much non-challenge as she could muster. 

Charles was gaping at her with wide blue astonished eyes. There was something unreadable in them again but the demon had given up trying to understand humanity this soon. She clearly needed more time for those bunch of losers. 

Just when Charles was about to regain his senses and say something the little bell above the front door dinged and a woman entered. The demon instantly recognized her. It was that same gal from last night. The night when Erik died. 

“Are you open?” she asked, giving an optimistic smile in the demon’s direction. 

“Yes! Yes, we are. Welcome!” Charles said hurriedly, getting up from the counter and straightening his stupid blue cardigan and the barista apron he insisted on wearing at work. 

“Ah, good. It’s not a bad time, I hope?” She said, closing the door behind herself, keeping the heat in. Then she looked at the demon again. “Erik, are you alright? Any aches? I’ve been thinking about you _ all night _ .” 

The demon shook her head. “I’m good. You?” 

“Oh, I’m hardly the one you need to worry about.” she chuckled amused. 

It was almost like the two were sharing an inside joke that Charles was cruelly left out from. At least that was what the demon deduced from the weird look on Charles’ face as he listened to the conversation.  

“Charles, this is Moira MacTaggert. A friend of mine.” 

Moira stretched her hand out to Charles, a wide smile spreading across her face. “Pleasure to meet you, Charles!”

“The pleasure’s all mine.” Charles replied, taking her hand and giving it a small shake. “Charles Xavier.” 

“I like what you’ve done here. Such lovely cozy atmosphere. You don’t get that in every cafe.” 

“Thank you.” Charles replied but there was a shadow hanging over his head. Perhaps it was the knowledge that this cafe was no longer his? Was he really that upset about this whole story? “How do you know Erik exactly?” he asked, seemingly innocent but the demon knew better. She smirked. 

Before Moira could utter a word, the demon interrupted. “Why, Charles, if I didn’t know any better I’d say you were jealous.”  

The teasing in the demon’s voice was more her own than Erik’s. Erik never sounded like that. He lacked the mischievousness the demon possessed in abundance. But Charles was so startled by the words he didn’t think much else about that. Instead he blushed rapidly as he sometimes would and took an awkward step back. 

“No, I didn’t mean-- I wasn’t--” he stuttered, then exhaled. “It’s none of my business anyway. I’ll let you two talk. Moira, what would you like to drink?” 

Moira smiled pleasantly and ordered the type of coffee she wanted. Then she and the demon retreated to one of the small tables in the corner while Charles busied himself preparing the drinks. 

The demon was having so much fun! Charles’ face was hilarious! He seemed to both like and despise Moira at the same time. That mixed with confusion and his previous hurt… it was delicious! So very delicious! The first day in Erik’s body was definitely going splendidly! 

Moira pulled her back to reality. “Did I interrupt you two? You both seemed lost in thought when I entered.” 

“Oh, no. That was nothing.” the demon waved it off. “Charles doesn’t know about my incident though.” 

“Oh! But why?” 

_ What kind of a stupid question was that? It wasn’t any of Charles’ business, duh! _

What would Erik do?

“I didn’t want to worry him.” she told Moira. “I’m fine now and Charles has enough reasons to whine and cry about.” 

_ Yep, nice save _ . 

Moira seemed slightly puzzled but she didn’t let it show much. “Ah. I see.” 

Charles brought the beverages personally since there were no other customers yet. Also apparently he believed Moira was a special friend of Erik’s and as such deserved a special treatment. So he was providing it as much as he could. 

“There you go.” he said politely. “I hope you like it.” 

“Oh, I’m sure I will. I’ve tried the coffee here. It’s gorgeous.” 

Charles gave her a friendly smile. “Oh, you have? I don’t remember you, I’m sorry.” 

“You weren’t here.” Moira smiled back, sharing a look with Erik. “I tried Erik’s coffee that night.” 

The smile on Charles’ face remained sort of frozen there for a moment or two. His mouth then opened as if to say something but no words came out of it. 

Before the pause could become too awkward the little bell dinged again and two new customers entered. 

Charles looked up to greet them and instantly paled. 

“Charles. Good to see you again.” A tall burly man said. 

“Mr. Marko.” Charles clenched his jaw. “I didn't expect you here so soon.” 

“Where’s the fun in life if you’d expected me every time I showed up?” Marko laughed and the demon had to agree he had a point. 


	5. Book 5: When Passions Take Over

Charles’ entire body tensed the moment he saw the two men entering. The faces were painfully familiar -- one was Kurt Marko, the other Charles recognized as the butler from the mansion. He didn’t want either of them in his cafe! Well,  _ Kurt’s  _ cafe, if one had to be technical about it. The bitter truth was inevitable and Charles couldn’t escape it, no matter how much he wanted to. Just like he couldn’t escape his ‘stepfather’. 

Kurt Marko entered the cafe with the air of a man who owned pretty much everything. The butler remained by the door, looking stiff, serious and ominous. 

Charles was frozen in place, his hands instinctively clenched into fists. He tried his best to remain, at least outwardly, calm. By his side Erik and Moira were still sitting at the table with their cups of steaming coffee in front of them, utterly unaware of what was transpiring at the moment. Charles would give up a lot just to keep Erik out of this mess. He knew he couldn’t. Weather he wanted it or not, Erik was in the middle of this mess, just like him. 

“Introduce me, why don’t you, Charlie?” Kurt Marko’s booming voice pulled Charles back to reality. The bulky man took another step forward and Charles instinctively took a step back before halting himself. “C’mon. Tell your friends who I am.” Marko urged.

Charles cleared his throat and reluctantly did as he was asked. “Erik, Moira, this is Kurt Marko, the…. the owner of this cafe.” 

“Ah, ah, ah, Charlie. I’m more than just that. I’m your step-dad too, aren’t I?” 

Charles pursed his lips, feeling angry heat rising to his cheeks. “Yes.” he admitted. 

“We’re family and family should stick together. Isn’t that right?” 

The words sounded threatening rather than comforting. Charles was surprised to find that a warm and positive word such as  _ family  _ could ever leave this chilling feeling. 

“Is that right, Charlie?” the man repeated. 

“Of course.” Charles replied curtly. Looking for an excuse to change the subject, Charles returned to the introductions. “And this,” he said, glancing at the man by the door, “is Mr. Marko’s-- um-- his….” 

Charles realized he had no idea if the butler was actually a butler. He didn’t even know his name.  

“Azazel is a dear friend of mine.” Kurt Marko said, waving his hand about in a manner that showed how much he wanted to be over with this and get to the point. “He’s been working for the family for decades now.” 

Once again Charles was curious about that man. Azazel. Even his name was strange and rare. The man was still immovable by the door, his face not betraying any emotion whatsoever. Charles wondered if Kurt Marko hadn’t sucked the life out of him for all these decades he said Azazel had been working for the Marko family. It wasn’t his emotionless face that made him so peculiar though. What was it then? One would say it was his face, but just that alone was nothing that out of the ordinary. Charles had met many different people, each unique in their own way, and yet none of them quite as odd as Azazel. Perhaps it was the way he contained himself? Or the air of being above all things that he carried about him? It was difficult to put one’s finger on it. 

Charles scolded himself internally. He was clearly trying to distract himself from the actual problem at hand by wondering about something irrelevant such as what made Azazel strange. It was a silly thing to do and it was definitely not the time for that. 

“And who are your little friends?” Marko inquired. 

“Ah. Well, Erik is working at the cafe with me, actually. And Moira is-- well, she’s just a customer, really.” 

“Mhm.” Marko said, giving them a look as if evaluating them both. 

Just that made Charles even angrier at the man. He really was getting on Charles’ nerves. 

“Is there a specific reason for your visit, Mr. Marko?” Charles asked, hoping not to appear too rude. 

On a whim Kurt Marko could kick Charles out of the cafe. Charles could lose his last memory of his father if Kurt Marko so wished. Charles couldn’t risk provoking him. He had to be polite and hope Kurt Marko would leave him be. 

The tricky part was that Kurt Marko made it very difficult for Charles to be polite. 

Kurt Marko chuckled and shook his head. “Why do you ask? Are you impatient to see me go, Charlie?”  

“I’m trying to oblige, Mr. Marko.” Charles replied. 

In one long stride Marko was right in Charles’ face, gripping his arm so tightly it probably left a mark. “I’m the one obliging you here, you ungrateful little shit. You should be down on your fucking knees to me.” he hissed at Charles, his eyes mad with danger. He was twisting Charles’ hand behind his back with no consideration of the pain he was inflicting.  

“Oi, oi!” Moira instantly sprang up from her chair, grabbing at Marko’s shoulder, as if she could pull the large man away from Charles. “Careful, okay?” 

Kurt Marko’s glare moved from Charles to Moira. 

“I don’t know what’s happening here between you two but there’s no need for violence.” Moira said, letting go of Marko as she spoke. “Whatever the matter is, I’m sure you can discuss it normally.” She stood tall and strong, taking in the man’s angry stare without flinching. 

Kurt Marko tilted his head at her then grinned at Charles, finally letting go of his arm. “You have a fiesty one here, Charles. Don’t let her go.” he said and headed for the door. “I’ll return. Often and regularly. It’s my cafe now. I can do as I please. I know what it means to you and you know what I can do with it. And with  _ you _ . So if you wish to keep your little memoriam here, be a good little boy and don’t cross me. Or else.” 

He didn’t say  _ or else  _ what but he didn’t have to. He walked out the door, followed by a silent but just as intimidating Azazel.  

Charles felt a weight falling from his chest as Marko left. He was so glad to see the back of the man, even if it was just for now. 

He realized Moira was still by his side, her hand on his shoulder, rubbing soft circles there as if trying to comfort him. He had to express his gratitude to her. Somehow. She was not obligated to stand up for him the way she did. It was brave and so helpful. He wished he could find the right words instantly. Instead he was only inhaling and exhaling rather loudly. His knees were giving up, he felt weak and reached for a chair to sit on.

There was no point in denying it, Charles detested Kurt Marko. He detested the man. Never in his life had he ever hated a person until now. Charles had no idea what his mother saw in that man to choose him over Charles’ father. How did one choose a brute like Kurt Marko over Brian Xavier -- the kindest man Charles had ever known, intelligent and funny, caring and loving. It made no sense. It made Charles sick in the stomach. 

“Charles?” He realized Moira was calling his name for some time now. “Charles!” 

He blinked and tried to focus. “Moira…. Right. I’m sorry. I was-- distracted.” 

“I can see that.” she said, huffing. “What was that all about, Charles? Is he always like this?”  

Charles shrugged helplessly. “I couldn’t know. I’ve only met him the other day. He-- he’s got my cafe now. I thought it was mine but turns out he’s the owner.” 

“That story’s really getting old.” Erik muttered from his little chair in the corner.  

The remark immediately brought Charles’ attention to his best friend. He frowned. “What I’d like to know is what’s wrong with you today?” he said.  

Erik arched both eyebrows, pointing innocently at his chest. “Me?”

“Yes, you. You’ve been acting so weird! Is everything okay?” Erik was silent. Charles continued. “Is it because I lost the cafe? Are you mad at me for that? Because I understand if you're mad but please let’s talk about it. Don’t just  _ be this way _ . We should talk about this.” 

Erik groaned. “Please, no more talking about stuff. It’s annoying.” 

Moira furrowed her brows with pursed lips but said nothing. Charles didn’t seem to mind her presence anymore. She stood up to Marko for him, she was brave, clever and righteous. And for someone she hardly even knew. She had guts and passion and her heart was in the right place, too. If Erik had romantic feelings for her, as Charles suspected, then Charles could only understand and…. and accept it. 

The atmosphere was suddenly charged with tension that neither Charles nor Erik seemed willing to address. Finally Moira cleared her throat. 

“I’ll go use your bathroom.” she said. “Be right back.” 

That said she sneaked into the back room, giving the two men some privacy. 

Once they were alone Charles sighed tiredly. “I really don’t know how to make it right, Erik. And I’m really sorry but that’s the truth.” he said, rubbing at the bridge of his nose in hope to reduce his headache. 

“I’m not mad at you. I’m fine. Just let it go already.” Erik insisted.  

But Charles wasn’t ready to let it go. He couldn't! Not when Erik’s been this strange all morning! The last time Erik acted differently Charales found out that his best friend was sick with cancer. Erik acting strange never brought good associations to Charles’ mind. 

“Erik, you’ve never abandoned me like this before. Just now I was ambushed by Kurt Marko and you didn’t even flinch. Any other day you’d flip about it.” he said earnestly. “You never let people talk to me like this. And now you suddenly let him physically attack me? Besides I know you love this cafe as much as I do. Yet when the man who’s taking it away from us came here to intimidate us and me, you just sat quietly at the table, almost as if you were hoping to go unnoticed. That’s too weird for you, Erik. Are you alright? Is it--” he hesitated, dread rising in his chest, “Is it the cancer? Is the cancer back? Are you sick again and not telling me? Because you can’t keep this from me, Erik, you can’t!” 

Charles couldn’t hide the horror from his eyes upon asking that question. He was terrified that the answer might be positive, that Erik was sick again. That Charles was losing him all over. But Erik only gasped. 

“What? No! I’m not sick.” 

A sigh of relief. Anything else this was about, Charles could deal with it. So long as Erik was healthy and safe.  

“Then what is it?” he asked. “If it’s nothing like that then the only assumption I can make is that you’re mad at me. Are you?” 

Erik frowned. 

“Well?” Charles urged him. “Are you?” he took a step towards Erik, wishing to comfort the man and coax him into opening up. “We always talk about things, Erik. Even when you’re angry with me, you always tell me. That’s how it works with us.” 

Erik’s lips were a tight line. 

“You know you can trust me.” Charles whispered, looking hopeful. 

Erik pursed his lips even harder. “I don’t have anything to say to you, Charles. Why do you always make such a big deal about everything?” Erik groaned. “You’re so frustrating at times! I’ve no idea how he stands you, let alone  _ likes  _ you!”  

The last sentence was rather muffled, as if Erik was speaking more to himself than to Charles. 

Charles frowned, puzzled. “Who do you mean?” 

Erik froze. “What?” 

“Who is it you can’t believe likes me?” 

Erik exhaled exasperated. “Anyone. I was speaking abstractly.” 

Charles wasn’t perfectly convinced. There was something fishy here and it wasn’t getting any better. However, Charles wasn’t sure he knew how to approach it exactly. He went for honesty. 

“Erik, you’re not yourself.” he said cautiously. 

“What do you mean? I am myself. I  _ am  _ myself!” Erik insisted, rather panicky. 

“But you’re not. You behave differently. And I want to know what’s going on. I am concerned. Just because I have this other problem with Marko hanging over my head, it doesn’t mean I’d ignore you. Or whatever’s upsetting you. I’m here for you, Erik, no matter what. So  _ please _ , talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong.” 

He was hoping the plead would convince Erik to open up again. He was wrong. Erik viciously pulled away from the hand that was reaching out for him. 

“You bloody little idiot!” he barked at Charles, his face twisted in a grimace. “You can’t just let it go, can you? You have to poke and prod and look for stuff! Asking questions! Being annoying! Such a brat!” 

Charles tried to keep the hurt away from his face. He was frowning and he hoped from the bottom of his heart that Erik couldn’t notice the wetness in his eyes. 

“You’re too cruel, Erik. I don’t understand. Why-- why are you being so cruel to me? I-- I’m trying! I know I let you down but I’m  _ trying _ \--” 

Their eyes met for a moment. Charles felt so vulnerable at Erik’s mercy. He knew Erik could crush him with one word. His best friend who’s always been there for him was now looking at him with sheer indifference. As if Charles was a nuisance and Erik couldn’t care less about what happened to him or their friendship. It was hurtful. It was not something Charles was used to. If there was one thing Charles was sure of in this world, it was Erik’s complete and devoted friendship. Now even that was slipping through his fingers. 

Perhaps all those emotions were written clearly on his face because Erik suddenly seemed quite annoyed with him. 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” he groaned and before Charles knew it Erik’s strong hands were on each side of his face. “Maybe this would shut you up!” Erik said as he pulled him towards himself and crushed their lips together in a bruising kiss. 

Charles made a startled noise of consternation. His eyes went wide, his heartbeat going crazy as his lips parted in confusion, allowing Erik to do as he pleased. Charles himself was unable to react at first, taken too much by surprise. But that was only for a few seconds. Very soon he felt himself responding, letting his lips meet Erik’s with hungry eagerness, mirroring Erik’s movements and craving more. There was such burning desire in Erik’s touch it made Charles ache with want too. He was desperately trying to bring them closer together, surrendering himself to this exciting feeling as he felt Erik’s lips devouring him as if the man wanted to consume him whole. No one had ever kissed Charles like that before. No one had ever kissed Charles at all but that was a different matter altogether. Erik was swallowing each of the embarrassing little sounds and gasps Charles couldn’t help but making. He was driven mad by every fevered touch, every brush of their tongues. Charles was lost in his yearning. 

How long have they been like that, clenched into one another with hungry passion, he had no idea. But when eventually they pulled apart Charles felt himself longing for more. To be completely shattered by Erik, to know he was truly his. He needed it like he needed air. 

“Erik--” he uttered, unable to recognize his own voice, thick with want. 

“Shhh, it’s alright, Charles.” Erik whispered, his own voice surprisingly calm considering the passion he’d just exhibited towards Charles. ”Just let me take care of things, okay?”

Erik’s hand found its way back to Charles’ cheek and Charles instinctively leaned into the touch. How easy it was to get used to certain things you relished, he wondered as he looked at Erik with heavy eyelids. 

“I don’t want you to keep questioning me all the time, okay?” Erik continued and Charles nodded because of course he’d do anything Erik asked of him, of course! He realized he was leaning up, tilting his head and parting his lips as if wordlessly beseeching Erik to kiss him again. Erik smirked. “You’re so predictable.” he said, eliminating the small distance between them and placing his lips so close to Charles’ yet not fully touching them. Charles whimpered slightly, the anticipation was his ruin. 

“Please, Erik….” he heard himself whisper. 

Another smirk on Erik’s face that took Charles aback again, puzzling him like a strange subconscious warning that something wasn’t right. Before he could think too much of it Erik’s mouth was back on his. This time just a soft press of their lips but still enough to distract Charles completely.  

An urgent and demanding cry startled Charles back to reality. 

“No! Don’t! Get away from him!” 

Moira. Damn it, Charles had forgotten all about Moira. 


	6. Book 6: When Things Get Really Messy

Charles jumped startled, pulling away from Erik instantly when he heard Moira’s voice. She seemed very troubled and perturbed by the situation and Charles couldn’t blame her. She literally caught them in the act! What was Charles thinking!? He had completely forgotten about Erik and Moira, he’d just gone with the flow, did what felt best with no consideration whatsoever of the future or the past or Moira’s feelings… 

He was now quickly pulled back to reality. 

“Oh, God!” he gasped, desperately trying to pull himself together. “I’m so sorry! I wasn’t thinking, I-- It was all my fault, Moira, I promise! Erik didn’t do anything. I’m so very sorry!” 

Moira grimaced at him. “What the hell are you talking about?” 

“Well, the kiss--” Charles mumbled, slightly puzzled. 

“No, Charles, I’m not talking about the kiss, I’m talking about--” 

“Oh, shut up, Moira!” Erik groaned, interrupting her. Once again the same exasperated notes creeped back into his voice, making him sound so unlike himself. Charles was taken aback.

“Erik… there’s no need to be like this. Moira means no harm. And she’s right to--” 

Erik gaped at him. “To what?” he barked. “To what? Tell me, what is she right to be?” he laughed. “You’re so naive and silly, Charles! You think everybody’s good! And if someone isn’t, then you just think that if you’re only kind to them they’d suddenly see a better way. Well, that’s lovely, just lovely and so fucking boring!” 

“Erik….” 

“Where did kindness get you, Charles? Hmm? Where? You lost the one thing you loved most in this stupid little world. Your stupid little cafe.” 

Charles’ breathing was getting faster. “You don’t mean that, Erik. I don’t know what makes you act out like that but this isn’t you.” 

“That’s exactly right, Charles.” Moira said firmly, glaring at Erik. 

“Because you always know everything, is that right, Charles? Always so perfect!” Erik barked at him. 

Charles felt Moira’s fingers wrap around his hand. “Charles, just leave it. Come with me. I’ll explain everything.” she said, pulling Charles towards the door. 

“No.” Charles said, eyes fixed on Erik. “I want to know why is he doing this. Why are you doing this, Erik?”  

Erik shrugged. “Why shouldn’t I?”  

Strange suspicions were rising in the pit of Charles’ stomach. Suspicions he couldn’t quite understand. They were more  _ felt  _ than  _ comprehended _ . “Did something happen while I was at Westchester?” he asked slowly, eyebrows drawn together. “Something did happen, didn’t it? What happened, Erik?”  

Erik only kept glaring at Charles. “You know, I never understood which part of you irritate me so much. Now I realize it’s not just parts of you, it’s the  _ whole  _ you that’s annoying.” 

Charles paled. 

“You know what? I don’t need this. I can do this on my own.” Erik threw his hands in the air and headed towards the door. “I don’t have to be here with you.  _ He  _ needed it, but  _ I  _ don’t.” 

Charles’ eyes were wide open and horrified. “You’re not Erik.” he whispered. “I don’t know how but you’re not Erik!” 

Erik stopped in his tracks. He seemed tense from behind and when he turned around there was a small frown on his face. Charles stood where he was, his gaze intense, his breathing fast. He needed answers. He  _ demanded  _ answers. Erik was the one good thing in his life and he needed to know what was going on here. 

Erik’s lips parted like he was about to say something but before he could reply Moira stepped up. 

“That’s right.” she said. “It’s not Erik.” 

Charles’ eyes moved from Erik to her, puzzled by her words. For a moment, in all the agitation, he had forgotten she was even still with them. But sure enough, there she was, standing tall, looking determined and… ready for battle. 

“That’s not Erik. It’s a demon.” Moira said. “And I’m gonna send it where it belongs!”   

Before Charles had any time to react, Moira swiftly pulled out a knife from her boot and charged at the demon with an angry cry. What followed was a fight like none Charles had ever witnessed. Moira hadn’t even had a chance to properly get to Erik when he literally sent her flying at the wall with one movement of his hand. While Charles was gaping with wide open eyes and mouth, Erik rushed towards the exit in a futile attempt to escape. Meanwhile Moira recovered with admirable speed as if getting thrown at walls was something usual for her. She jumped back on her feet and ran after Erik yet again. She managed to tackle him on the floor as she muttered strange words under her breath. They sounded like Latin to Charles who had heard his father use the dead language a few times to amuse Charles when he was a kid. Erik used his elbow to punch Moira and get her off of himself while simultaneously trying to prevent her from reaching the knife. Eventually Moira prevailed, she got Erik pinned down on the floor with the knife arched right above his chest. 

“Wait! Stop!” Charles screamed terrified, trying hard to make sense of the whole thing. He couldn’t let Moira  _ stab  _ Erik! “Moira, don’t! What are you two doing? Will someone explain to me!” 

“Charles, it’s not safe--” 

Moira glanced at him for a second and Erik used the distraction to throw her off of himself, rendering her temporary incapable of defending herself. Then he set his eyes on Charles. They were turned black as if the void was reflected in them. Charles was horrified. 

“Erik?” he whispered, taking a step back. 

Erik only advanced further, closer to Charles. 

“Erik….” 

One sharp movement of Erik’s hand and his weirdly superhuman powers had Charles flying with incredible speed to the opposite end of the cafe. Whatever doubts he had about Moira’s words, they were gone now. This creature was definitely not his Erik!

Charles gasped. The impact with the wall and a few shelves he encountered knocked the air out of his lungs, leaving him dizzy, nauseated and in pain on the floor. 

“Erik, what’s going on? What is this?” he tried to ask but his voice was weak and breathless from the pain. “Erik….” he kept gasping, trying to make a sound.  

Erik tilted his head to the side, approaching the man on the floor. 

“Oh, didn't you hear, love? Erik’s dead! He died when you went to Westchester.” he nodded a few times, looking positively amused by his own words. “That’s right, he died the same day your mama did. Oh, and also, he’d been desperately, stupidly in love with you all his life. Pining after you like a lovesick puppy. He was never your true friend, Charles. He betrayed you. You thought you were brothers, you and he, but he was secretly lusting after you. Daydreaming about what it’d be like to have you love him back.” The demon shook its head. “Of course, he was was too much of a chicken to actually  _ do  _ something about it. But what can one do? It was his nature. A deceitful coward. That’s who your precious Erik was.” 

Charles was shaking his head despite the pain that the movement caused him. 

“ _ You’re _ the deceitful coward, not Erik!” he gasped, his voice finally returning. “You’re lying! Erik’s not dead! He can’t be!” 

The demon hissed with a grin. “Awww, awe you gonna cwy about it? Your precious Erik’s gonna be touched.” it mocked and then burst into laughter.   

“Don’t you dare speak his name!” Charles groaned and struggled to get up from the floor and attack the demon, even if he knew it was definitely stronger than him.

Everything hurt -- his body, his soul, his mind. He just wanted it to be over, he wanted to make it stop somehow. But sometimes life was like a natural disaster -- you had to wait for things to end, things that were out of your control. It was currently out of Charles’ control to get up fast, he had to put so much effort into this simple task, all while the demon was laughing at him. And then suddenly the laughter was cut short. 

Charles looked up and saw Erik’s face twist in an ugly grimace, a knife plunged into the creature’s chest. Moira. 

Charles saw the blade of the knife flicker with light before the demon dropped down on the floor, motionless. Only at that moment it no longer looked like the demon -- it looked like Erik. 

“No! Erik!” Charles cried out desperately. “Erik!” he threw himself at Erik’s ice cold body, cradling it like the precious thing that it was. 

Moira stepped closer, hovering over both of them. Charles looked up, shaking. 

“Did you kill him? Is he-- is Erik dead?” he asked, his voice trembling like his hands. 

Moira gave a small affirmative nod. Charles gasped in shock. 

“Erik, please, come back…. Please, come back….” he sobbed, pessing his face to the dead man’s forehead, a quiet prayer on his lips as the tears kept falling down his cheeks and landing on Erik’s. 

Unable to stop, Charles kept weeping. 

He’d lost any sense of time or space but at some point there was a hand on his shoulder. Moira. Again. 

“I think we need to talk.” she said. 

Charles’ eyebrows were drawn together into a frown. His eyes were still red and wet from all the tears. 

“Yes.” he said. “I believe we do.” 

~*~ 

Kurt Marko was on his way back to the X-mansion. He could feel Azazel’s eyes on him from the rear-view mirror. 

“Something bothering you,  _ Ass _ -azel?” 

Azazel remained stoic. “No, sir.” 

“Watch the road then, not me.” 

“I can drive without looking, you know that.” Azazel said, a small challenge in his voice. “I could drive without using my hands.” 

“You could. But then I would have to kick your demonic ass. And you don’t want that, do you, Zelda?” 

Azazel’s lips were a tight line at the man’s mockery. “No, sir.” 

“Then don’t try my patience.” 

Azazel remained silent. 

Kurt Marko glanced down at his briefcase, resting near him on the backseat, and sucked in a deep breath. “Any news about the will?” he then asked. 

Azazel shook his head. “We’re still looking, sir.” 

Kurt Marko groaned with an irritated grimace. “Your  _ looking  _ is costing me my sleep.” His large hand rested on top of the briefcase protectively. “There are two kinds in this world, Zelda: barkers and biters.” he muttered, more to himself than to Azazel. “I thought she was a barker, could do no harm, but she deceived me. She was a biter in disguise. And now I have to take care of the wounds her teeth left me with.”  

~*~  

Erik’s body was laid down on three tables pushed together. Charles didn’t want to leave it on the floor. He had closed the cafe, locking the front door and drawing down the curtains -- frankly they were lucky Saturday mornings were usually slow for them so no customers showed up to witness the whole ordeal. If Charles was in a state to care about that sort of thing at this sort of time, he would’ve been grateful for people wanting to sleep in on a Saturday morning. However, Charles was not in a state to care about that sort of thing, Charles was simply _ in a state _ . And what a state that was! His best friend got possessed by a demon and stabbed right in front of Charles’ eyes! Not that it would've been less damaging for him had he not seened it with his own eyes… . He took his time arranging Erik’s cold body on the tables, covering it with the best cloth he could find around and placing flowers on top of Erik’s chest and around his head. He even took out a few candles they had saved in the cafe for emergencies. 

He stood there, unable to look away from the corpse that once was his best friend. The pain was heavy in his chest, stronger than the physical pain his body felt. His tears had dried by now, he had none left. The only traces that remained of his sobs were the red swollen eyes and the death-like expression on his face. 

Finally he forced himself sit down at Moira’s table. There was no point in delaying the conversation any longer. Not hearing the truth would not suddenly change reality.  

Moira was holding her now cold cup of coffee with both hands. From her fidgeting Charles could tell she was feeling uncomfortable.  

“I’m sorry, Charles.” She spoke first. “I’m really sorry but Erik was not Erik anymore.” 

Charles nodded. “Yes. It was a demon.” 

Even saying the words was enough to shoot a sharp pain through his heart. He flinched slightly. 

“Are you okay?” Moira asked, concerned. “You’re quite bruised. Might’ve twisted something too. Let me help--” 

“No. I’m fine. What I need now is answers. So please. If you want to help, do that.” 

Moira nodded. “Of course.” 

Charles looked down at his hands awkwardly. “Is it true?” he asked, unable to look up. 

“What? That Erik was possessed?” 

“No, that Erik was dead.” 

“Ah.” 

“Well, is it?” 

“Yes. It’s true. Erik was dead. Erik  _ is  _ dead. I--” she sucked in a deep breath. 

It didn’t look like she had a lot of experience with having such conversations. Charles couldn’t help noticing that she seemed more at ease during the fighting than the talking.

“I was there when it happened.” she continued. “I saw Erik die and I saw the exact moment the demon possessing his body. I’m really sorry, Charles, but Erik’s dead and he’s not coming back.” 

Charles was silent for a moment. Solemn. 

“How did he die?” 

“A car hit him. In front of the cafe. He died almost instantly.” 

Charles nodded again. “When?” 

“Last night. When you were in Westchester, apparently. What were you doing in Westchester?” 

Charles gave her a look. 

“I know, sorry, none of my business. It’s just, Westchester is a place where a lot of supernatural activities happen and I never get the chance to check it properly. Such high security for one stupid old mansion!” she groaned. 

“Riiight.” Charles drawled. 

“You see, I’m a hunter. I kill monsters for a living.” she said, leaning on the table slightly. “I deal with these assholes all the time. Demons, possessing unsuspecting people, using them, tormenting them. Some other freaks, too, shapeshifters, werewolves--” 

“Where’s Erik now?” Charles interrupted her. “The  _ real  _ Erik, not the demon. Erik’s soul. Where is it now?” 

“Um…” 

“If demons and monsters are real then I suppose so are Heaven and Hell. Where is Erik’s soul?” 

Moira shrugged apologetically. “I’m sorry, Charles. I don’t know that.” 

“How can you not know? You do that sort of thing for a living.” 

She swallowed. “I do. But it’s mostly hunt the monsters, kill the monsters. I don’t know what happens after.”  

Charles’ face was like stone. “I want him back.” 

Moira exhaled, biting her lower lip. “You can’t have him back.”

“I don’t care. I  _ want  _ him back.”  

Moira’s face was getting red with anger. It was not so much directed at Charles but rather at the circumstances. “Look, this isn’t a game, y’know. I get it, you're upset, but there’s not much you can do about it now. I’m sorry your friend’s dead but I’m glad I got to kill that son of a bitch. Who knows what it would’ve done to you. I saved you, okay? I can’t save everyone but I saved you!” 

“I didn’t know one could kill demons.” Charles said as if he hadn’t heard the rest of Moira’s little speech. 

“It’s a special knife. It kills supernatural beings.” Moira muttered, her hand instinctively cupping the side of her boot where she usually kept the knife. “I never part with it.” 

“Let me see it.” 

“Charles….” 

“Please.” 

She hesitated for a moment but then drew out the knife and put it on the table. This time Charles had the chance to notice the white ivory handle, the sharp blade, the sigils covering it. His eyes were fixed on the weapon, remembering the way it looked plunged into Erik’s chest. He knew Moira hadn’t killed Erik -- that was a demon, not Erik -- but it was still Erik’s body and the memory of that sight was making his heart ache terribly. 

Perhaps Moira felt it because she carefully withdrew the knife, hiding it from Charles’ view.  

“Charles, I-- I don’t do that. The comforting bit afterwards. I’m no good for that. I find the monsters, I kill the monsters, then I move on to the next one. I-- I leave broken hearts behind, I save whoever I can. I don’t know what to say to make you feel better. But I know people who can.” she fished a card out of her pocket and placed it on the table in front of Charles. “Here’s the number of a friend of mine who’s really good with trauma and could help you deal with--” 

“Fuck that.” Charles said, face expressionless. “I don’t need to deal with my trauma and my loss. I need to bring Erik back. And you’re going to help me do that.” 


	7. Book 7: When Erik Got Company

"Hello? Anyone? Where, the hell, am I?” The demon called out. She was her natural blue form again, her red hair slicked back. She had just appeared in this strange place and was now getting irritated by the lack of explanations. “This isn’t Hell! Why, the hell, am I not in Hell!? I thought I’d be in Hell! I’ve fucking earned it! Why am I not in Hell? I demand to be sent to Hell!”

An exasperated groan came from the distance.

She instantly turned in the direction of the sound. “Who’s there? I’m dangerous, I’m warning you!”

The groan turned into an amused laughter. “I can’t escape you, can I? Not even here.”

The demon jumped as if burned (but not in a fun way). “You!” she growled the moment she recognized the person before her. “Erik Lehnsherr! What are you doing here? Where-- How-- why-- _what_?”

Erik chuckled some more and walked towards her with a certain air of superiority. “My, my! You’re handling it worse than I did.” he sounded quite entertained by her confusion.

She frowned. “You look smug. Stop that. It makes your face look weird.”

He grinned widely and somehow that was even worse than the smugness.

“Don’t you get it, demon?” he asked, that smirk not leaving his lips. “We’re dead. We’re shadows now. We’re where the dead go after they, well,” he shrugged and chuckled again, “die.”

The demon’s lips parted in bewilderment.  

“It’s okay. I’ll allow you some time to process it.” Erik said, putting his hands in his pocket casually and taking a step back, seemingly to give her space.

The demon shook her head. “No. That’s impossible.” she muttered. “I’m an immortal being! I can’t just _die_! Dying is for humans!”

“Apparently not.”

“I can’t be dead! I don’t die!” she insisted again, getting more frustrated by the second.

“Rewind and think. What’s the last thing you remember.”

“Getting stabbed with a knife.”

“That usually kills people.” Erik announced wisely.

“Exactly! _People!_ But you see, I’m not people! I’m a demon! I don’t just die when I get stabbed! And definitely not by the hand of a mere human!”

“Exhibit A.” Erik said pointing at her entire being. “You’re in the Land of the Dead.”

The demon’s yellow eyes were wide and horrified. “Something must be seriously wrong with me if I died….” she uttered.

“Sucks for you.” Erik said nonchalantly.

The demon charged at him hitting his chest with her clenched fists. “This can’t be happening!”  

The amused look did not leave Erik’s face. Seeing a familiar face was better than being alone in this wilderness apparently because he seemed quite pleased to see her and seemingly unaffected by her blows.

“It’s already happened. And I suggest you woman up because we're gonna be stuck here for a long time. There seems to be no one else around so it’s gonna get pretty depressing if you act like that for all eternity.”

She pulled away, frowning at him. “You seem awfully calm. For a human. And, y’know, for _you_.”

“I died. I spent months in this place. Eventually, one stops getting surprised by things.”

“Months? What are you talking about? You’ve been dead a day!”

He hummed thoughtfully. “It doesn’t feel like a day here. I guess time passes differently in this Kingdom of Shadows.”

She laughed, slightly on the hysterical side. “There’s no such thing as Kingdom of Shadows.” she said, looking around as if assessing the situation. “We’re in Limbo.”

“Greeeat. Knowing what it’s called doesn’t make me feel any better about it but thanks for the useful information.”

She rolled her eyes. “At least I’m trying to figure things out. You just gave up!”

Erik’s eyes darkened. “Oh, I had my reasons for that.” he said, his voice shuddering in such a chilling way that even the demon felt it. For some reason that made her feel uneasy too.

She swallowed. “What happened to you?”

Erik ignored her question completely.  

She cleared her throat. “So what now?” she asked instead.  

He shrugged. “I don’t know, demon. I don’t know.”

Her face twisted in an angry grimace. “ _Demon_ this, _demon_ that! That’s not my name!”

Erik looked at her with a puzzled frown. “You-- Do you have a name?” he asked tentatively.

“Well, duh! I do!”

“You just never… never mentioned it.”

“You never asked.” she replied and for a moment Erik’s face was tainted with regret.

“You’re right.” he said. “I’m sorry. I should’ve thought of it sooner. So. What’s your name?”

“It took us dying for you to ask but… it’s Raven. My name’s Raven.”

She smiled slightly. As if having someone ask her about her name was a new but pleasant experience for her. Erik wondered if anyone even bothered with demon names at all, considering that he himself had completely overlooked the matter.

He nodded, returning her soft smile. “Raven. It’s nice. I thought your name would be something weirder and fancier. Like Mystique or something.”

She chuckled. “Nah. But I like that. Mystique.”

He chuckled too and that surprised her. She hadn’t seen him like that for the time she’d known him on Earth. Apparently, her surprise showed on her face because he asked, “What?”

“I thought you’d be-- I dunno, angrier? More upset? Melancholy at least.” she explained.

“I don’t regret dying. I was ready to die before I met you. It was long overdue, you know that. I was ill, I was meant to die. What kept me alive was Charles. I had to live for Charles. Now at least, I know Charles is fine on his own. He’s alright, he’s not alone anymore and he doesn’t need me that much.”

Raven arched an eyebrow. “What do you mean? How do you know if he’s alright?”  

Erik sat down on the ground-like darkness and Raven followed his example.

“The day before I died he got a letter from his mother.” Erik said. “I’ve heard of Westchester where she lives, it’s a rich place. She’d take care of Charles financially if need be. And most importantly, he finally got himself a family. He always needed that. And his mother, she-- she has a lot to make up for. She won’t turn her back on him a second time. He’d finally feel a mother’s love. So yes, I know he’ll be alright. And that makes me feel peaceful.”  

Raven hesitated for a moment. Should she let Erik stay shrouded in oblivion and not tell him the truth? Should she omit what she knew had happened to Charles? Or should she tell Erik that the man he loved was far from well and ruin Erik’s peace? Both options seemed wrong to her.

“What’s with you? You look like you’re getting emotional. It’s really weird. You’re creeping me out.” Erik teased.

“Nothing…. Nothing….” Raven muttered, having this new unfamiliar heavy filling in her chest. Was she even supposed to feel things when she was obviously dead?

“You okay?”

She looked up at Erik and saw that he was giving her a look of concern. _Genuine_ concern. Like they were _friends_ and _meant something for one another_. What a thought! What a foreign, strange, ridiculous, absurd thought!

“You love Charles, don’t you?” she asked.

Erik shifted uncomfortably at that. “What’s the point in hiding it now? I’m dead already.” he chuckled at himself, then looked back at Raven. “Yes. Yes, I do. I always have.” an involuntary smile spread across his face at the confession. A smile he couldn’t help. “Feels good to finally say it out loud.”  

Nope, she couldn’t not do this.

“Charles’ mother died before he could even meet her. He lost the cafe, he’s bullied by his step-father and he’s grief-stricken that you’re dead!” she blurted out.

Erik blinked. “What!?”

“When I got stabbed he was heartbroken and alone. His stepfather is mistreating and threatening him. And Charles is helpless under his thumb.”

Erik paled.

“Charles is not alright.” She concluded.

He pulled further away from her. “You’re lying. Tell me you’re lying.”

She shook her head. “I saw it myself. I didn’t care but I saw it happen. Charles told me how hurt and broken he felt. Then he found out I’m a demon and I got stabbed by a hunter. I’m not lying, Erik.”

A loud painful and enraged scream escaped Erik’s lips. It resonated throughout the void, filling it with Erik’s anger.

Raven waited for him to stop screaming before she spoke again. “Erik?”

He grabbed her tightly by the shoulders. “Tell me everything! Start at the beginning when I died and finish with the moment you appeared here in Limbo.”  

She sighed, not really feeling like telling him stories, but did as he asked. When she was done there was a shadow over Erik’s face. He was frowning, lost in thought.

“Erik?”

“I need to go back!” he said, determinedly. “I need to protect him! He needs me, I have to--”

“How? How can you possibly protect him?” she gasped, rather irritated. “We’re in fucking Limbo! We’re not even in Hell where at least _something_ could’ve been done. But we’re in freaking Limbo where all there is, is you, me and those monster shadows I _know_ you’ve already encountered.”

Erik’s eyes went round. “You know about the monsters?”

She pursed her lips, crossing her arms over her chest. “Yes. I’ve heard stories about the monsters in Limbo that take the shape of your greatest fears. And you’ve seen them.”

He only nodded but still refused to talk about the monsters.

“Here, I’m just as powerless as you, Erik.” she said, propping her head on her hands tiredly.

Erik’s face suddenly cleared up. “You’re helpless here but in Hell you might be able to do something?” he asked.

“Yes, perhaps. But that’s not an option. We’re stuck here.” she groaned. “There’s no getting out of Limbo. At least not like that, no shortcut.”

Erik was still grinning though.

“Now you’re scaring me.” Raven said.

“For the time I’ve spent here, I’ve seen things.” Erik whispered, leaning closer to her.

She furrowed her brows. “What things?”

“The Gate of Hell.” Erik announced triumphantly.

Raven’s eyes went wide. “The actual Gate? You found the Gate?”

Erik nodded, not looking away from her. “I can smuggle you into Hell and then,” he grinned a wide predatory grin, “then you can do your thing to get Charles safe.”

~*~

“Charles, I told you already. There’s _no way_ to bring someone back from the dead.” Moira said for the hundredth time. “I understand you’re grieving but--”

“I’m not grieving. Because Erik’s not really dead. He’ll come back to me.” Charles insisted.

“I admire your…. blind optimism…. but we need to be realistic here. What’s dead stays dead.”

Charles leaned in on the table, his eyes piercing into Moira’s very soul.

“If demons and monsters are real, then souls are real too. If souls are real, then they have a place to go when the bodies die. If they have a place to go, then they can be found. If they can be found, we can communicate with them. If we can communicate with them, we can be reunited. Conclusion: we can bring Erik back. Simple logic.”

Moira sighed. She was so tired. Perhaps getting herself involved in this story wasn’t such a great idea after all. She wasn’t sure that her intervention hadn’t damaged Charles more than helped him.

“This is insane, Charles.” she said.

“I believe what you mean to say is that there’s no precedent that you know of. But that doesn’t mean it’s insane or impossible. I have faith! I have hope!”

“Why? Why do you? Things are literally bleak as death for you at this point in life. Why do you still hope?”

“Because it’s all I have.”

Moira noticed the wetness in his eyes but decided not to comment on it. She sucked in a deep breath. She couldn’t believe she was doing this.

“Okay. Alright. I’ll help you.” she threw her hands in the air. “But I make no promises. I’m agreeing to this because I know you won’t get off my back until I do. But I don’t guarantee that we will succeed. We’ll try. But there’s a good chance we fail.”

He gave her a grateful look. “Thank you. That’s what I ask for.”

“You ask for complete and total devotion to a hopeless cause?” she chuckled. “Yeah, sure, sounds like my life. Of course, I’m in.”

They shook on it.

“So where do we start?”

“You’re the initiator of this whole endeavor. You tell me.”

He rubbed at his temples. “Do you know someone who could connect to spirits?”

“I know a few, yes. But none of them can bring spirits back from the dead.”

“It’s worth the shot. If I get to speak to Erik-- perhaps that would give us a clue.”

Moira nodded. “Fair enough. I’ll make some calls. You get some rest.”

She doubted Charles would really rest properly but it was worth to have him try.

~*~  

Raven and Erik prepared for their planned expedition to the Gates of Hell. According to legends Raven had heard, the Gates appeared on different places at different times so that no one could escape. According to Erik, there was a pattern and he had cracked it. Raven trusted him and followed his guidance for the first time in her existence.

They could feel the shapeless shadows surrounding them, the moaning monsters scattered around the dark void, _watching_ . The closer they got to the Gates, the fiercer the presence. It was unsettling and tense, dangerous in a very specific confusing way. Nothing quite as terrifying as the _unknown_.

The creatures guiding the Gates, monsters under the bed of a scared child, only these monsters were real. And they seemed very displeased with Erik’s intentions. They disapproved of their venture. They growled and groaned but Erik was determined and that determination somehow passed onto Raven too.

“How can we go past them?” Erik whispered to Raven.

“It’ll be painful.” Raven replied, not too bothered by the fact. “But if you’re resolute, we can do it. It’s Hell, so it’s easier to get in and harder to get out.”

Erik nodded, offering his hand to Raven. “Then let’s do this!”

~*~  

“Charles, this is Emma Frost. She’s a psychic who can talk to spirits. She has this special ability, so to speak. Emma, Charles Xavier.” Moira said, introducing him to a young blonde woman all dressed in white. She looked more like a Snow Queen than a psychic but Charles was not picky. And if Moira vouched for her to be the real deal then beggars can’t be choosers.

Emma Frost took them to her ‘lair’ and the three of them sat around a small round table.

“Are we going to hold hands or…?” Charles asked awkwardly.  

Emma Frost smirked. “He’s cute.” she told Moira. Then turned back to Charles. “Forget what you’ve seen in the movies, sugar. This ain’t like it.”

Charles nodded. “Of course. You’re the expert.”  

“So I am.” she said. “Now, from what I understand you want to find this friend of yours who was possessed by a demon and is now dead. You want to talk to him, tell him your intentions to bring him back to life and ask him if he knows a way. Correct?”

Charles gaped at her. “Did you tell her all this, Moira?”

Moira chuckled and shook her head. “I told her nothing. Only made the appointment.”

“Then how…?”

“You said it yourself, sweetheart. I’m the expert.” Emma Frost winked, amused by his awe. “Now, this is a long journey for my mind so be quiet. I’ll tell you when I link myself with your Erik. You can then talk to him through me. Understood?”

Charles nodded quickly a few times. “Yes! Yes, understood!”

Emma Frost closed her eyes and concentrated.

For a long while they were all silent. Nothing was happening and Charles felt this faint worry in the pit of his stomach.

Moira leaned in to whisper in his ear. “It doesn’t look so good.” she said. “Usually it takes her less time and less effort to connect.”

Charles bit his lower lip, hard. Could this mean that Erik’s ghost wasn’t where all other ghosts usually rested? Was that a good thing or a bad thing? How would they be able to locate him if he’s someplace else?

Before he could sink deeper into his fears, Emma Frost suddenly gasped, startling them both.  

“I can feel him!” she exclaimed. “But he won’t answer me, he can’t hear me. He’s-- he’s too far away….” Her closed eyelids trembled slightly as she concentrated harder. “He’s determined to enter through-- somewhere dark! Somewhere very dark!” Her eyes snapped open, and Charles could see that their whites resembled diamond. It was rather creepy but Charles couldn’t care less.  

“Where? Where’s he going? Can you talk to him? Can you ask a question? Can you send a message?” he asked impatiently.

Emma was grimacing. She seemed to be in pain, her hands gripping tightly the ends of the table. Moira’s hand went to rest over hers.

“Emma? Emma, can you hear me? Emma, are you alright?”

Emma let out a horrific shriek and went unconscious.

“Emma!”

Dread filled Charles’ stomach. Did he do this? He had urged her to push her boundaries with his request and this is what happened. Was she hurt? Was she… alive?

Moira was not seized by panic like him. She acted and acted fast. Quickly she brought a wet cloth to Emma’s temples, sprinkling some over her face and carefully slapping her on the cheek a few times. It seemed to work because slowly, very slowly, Emma Frost regained consciousness.  

“What happened?” she asked, her voice weak.

“You passed out.” Moira replied, rewetting the cloth and placing it back to Emma's forehead. “Rest now.”

Emma shook her head agitated. “No, we must stop him! He’s making a terrible mistake! He’s about to enter Hell!”

Charles’ heart jumped in terror. “He what?”

“I don’t know how but he’s deliberately heading for Hell. No soul can do that! That’s insane!”

Moira gave Charles a pointed look. “Yes, I wonder where he got that from.” she muttered, thinking of Charles’ own insanity. However, Charles was too terrified to pay attention to irony.

“Emma, what can we do?” he asked. “And do you know why he’s doing that?”

Emma only closed her eyes and tiredly tilted her head to the side. “I don't know.” she sighed. “And I can’t tell. It’s very difficult to reach him there, wherever he is.”  

“But you _can_ reach him? Theoretically?” Charles said carefully and received a scolding glare from Moira for it.

He knew what that look was about. The woman almost died because of Charles’ eccentric wishes and now he was about to send her to that same mental place and risk her well-being all over again. He quickly grabbed hold of himself. It was wrong to ask this much of Emma. He had to go with whatever he got from her so far.

“I’m sorry. I already owe you so much. Thank you for doing this.” he said instead.

Emma opened her eyes again to look closely into his. “There’s something else.” she whispered. “He’s not alone. A demon’s with him. But he’s not afraid of the demon. There’s trust there. Friendship almost. A strange form of kinship. Perhaps that’s what’s helping him pass through the Gates of Hell.”

“The demon’s still with him?” Charles said surprised. “Could the demon be controlling him? Could that be why he’s headed for Hell _deliberately_?”

Emma shrugged. “I cannot say. All I know is that demons are involved in this whole thing. And a demon stands by Erik’s side.”

She flinched in pain again and Moira attended to her some more.

“Will she be alright?” Charles asked quietly.

“Yes, I believe so.” Moira said, after a quick examination. “But she needs rest.”

Charles gave a silent nod. Of course, she did. And she deserved it.

He helped Moira carry Emma to her bedroom and then took a few moments to himself to process the information he had just heard. He wasn’t sure if it was good news or bad. On the bright side, at least he knew Erik was still _somewhere out there_. The downside was that Charles still had no idea how to reach him or get him back. Or even if he was safe, he was heading down to Hell, for Pete’s sake! Charles had to think fast. He had to bring Erik to life, and the sooner the better.


	8. Book 8: When Erik Went to Hell

Erik looked around. The place was dark and red as if a cave with fire streaks running in its walls. It was warm but it left this strange feeling of coldness at the same time. Erik couldn’t quite explain it, there were too many contradictions that strangely made sense and no sense at all. Erik’s own senses worked completely differently ever since he died, nothing like what his body used to feel before. So it was hard for him to really explain Hell in the way a human would. Hell was something only his new ‘deadman’ senses could understand but his human mind felt too overwhelmed to even try to comprehend. It was like the soul felt things so much differently than the body and now that Erik was relieved of one he needed time to tune in to the other. 

He decided it was better to leave all his feelings and emotions for later and concentrate on actions instead. 

There were several demons surrounding the Gate, they were accompanied by what Erik presumed to be hellhounds. He was at first worried about the giant dogs and their demons but then he relaxed somewhat when he realized that none of them seemed to notice anything unusual about Raven and Erik when they entered the Gate. Apparently Raven was right about Hell being harder to get out of then in. Or perhaps they didn’t mind Erik’s presence because he was accompanied by a demon. Either ways Erik was glad things were going smoothly so far. They walked in as if they belonged there. 

“So this is Hell.” Erik said conversationally, almost nonchalantly. He had deliberately smuggled himself into Hell -- nothing truly surprised him at this point, might as well go sightseeing. 

Ravan sucked in a deep breath as if she could actually feel any air in Hell. “Perfect, isn’t it?” she cooed. 

Erik rolled his eyes. “I guess it’s an acquired taste.” he replied. 

Her hand slipped into his, causing his eyebrows to shoot up in surprise. 

“We don’t have to leave, you know.” she said, rather intimately. Her beautiful yellow eyes were deep and unusually honest, almost vulnerable, when she looked up at him. 

He frowned. “What do you mean, not leave? The whole point in coming to Hell was so that we get out of here.” 

She didn’t seem particularly pleased to hear this but she didn’t show it with anything other than a small nervous tick of her fingers. She stood before him, pulling them into a more secluded corner. 

“I’m just saying that Hell isn’t as horrible as people make it sound.” she elaborated. “I mean, it  _ is  _ horrible, but mostly for the human visitors.” her hands grabbed him by the shoulders, almost pleadingly. “But you don’t have to be one of those. I can help you! I can turn you like me!” 

Erik pulled further away from her. “You already _ are  _ helping me. Remember?” he reminded. “You said once we’re in Hell you could get us out of here. You  _ promised  _ !  _ That’s  _ how you’re helping me. Or are you going back to your word now?” 

She shook her head quickly. “No, not at all! I just-- it was just a thought.” 

But Erik wasn’t going to let it go that easily. It was too important for him that Raven wouldn't double-cross him. He had chosen to trust her and he didn’t mean to be intolerant but she was, after all, a demon. And demons weren’t famous for their honesty and loyalty. Erik had to keep that in mind. 

“Just a thought?” he repeated. “And what thought is that? Tempting me into becoming a demon and spending eternity in Hell with you? I don’t think so. That’s not an option. I’m only here to help Charles.” 

“And you still could!” she blurted out.

“What are you saying, Raven? Are you on my side or not?” 

“I  _ am  _ on your side! But think about it. Think how much you could help Charles if you were a demon. With the power demons have.” 

Erik was very very still. Raven’s words were beginning to make sense to him and that frightened him.  

Raven continued. “As a human soul you have limited abilities to actually do something for Charles. Even if you go back on Earth, what do you expect to achieve? Magically solve all his problems? It’s not that easy, Erik, and ironically getting out of Hell is not the hardest part of what you’re planning.” 

“I don’t really know what I’m planning.” Erik confessed quietly. 

“What?” 

“I want to help Charles,” he muttered, “but I’ve no idea how to do that. I don’t have a plan, Raven, I only want to go back to him because he needs me. Nothing beyond that is decided. I just know that if I’m by his side when he needs me, together we can fix anything.” 

She arched an eyebrow. “The same way you fixed everything else in your lives before? Please, Erik. You two barely made it before I showed up. And now Charles is in deep trouble. With people who do not play games. I’m pretty sure his stepfather has killed people. Or at least, had people killed. He could even kill Charles.”  

“How can you know so much about him from just one brief meeting?” 

Raven was very still for a moment. “Because I saw who his butler is.” she said with a small shudder. 

Erik gave her a mocking look. “Elaborate maybe? Who’s his butler, Alfred Pennyworth?” 

“His butler is a demon, named Azazel. He’s one of the toughest guys I know, he’s been around for centuries and is quite influential in Hell. And yet the last time I saw him he looked like Kurt Marko’s lap dog.” 

Erik’s face fell. “Marko has a demon at his disposal?” 

Raven nodded. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that earlier!?” 

“I didn’t think it was relevant. Besides, I didn’t want to get involved in big demonic affairs. During the entire conversation I was just praying Azazel wouldn’t notice me. Which he probably did but at least he had the common sense to ignore me.” 

“Common sense?” 

“It’d be embarrassing for him if I told other demons about his situation.” 

Erik huffed. “And what is his situation exactly? We can’t tell. For all we know, he just likes Marko and helps him out of his own free will.” 

“Demons don’t just like humans and do shit for them, Erik.” 

“You do.” 

His words seemed to startle her for a second. She blinked rapidly. “Well, that’s-- that’s different. And I’m not doing it for  _ you _ , I’m doing it for  _ myself _ .” 

Erik smirked. “Sure you do. I keep forgetting that bit. You gain so much if I help Charles.” 

“Stop that! Stop mocking me!” she snapped angrily. “You think you’re so smart? You have  _ no  _ control over me! No hold over me, you hear me?  _ Nothing  _ ! You’re a  _ nothing  _ to me!” 

Erik threw both his hands defensively in the air and smiled at her. “Hey, I’m not mocking you. I’m impressed. You’re not a bad person, Raven.” 

“I’m not a person at all. I’m a demon.” she pouted, crossing her hands on her chest.  

Erik nodded. “I know. And you’re still not a bad person.” 

They were silent for a moment. Raven needed a moment to cool down, apparently. It didn’t seem like she had anything to say and Erik… he had other things on his mind. 

“What do you think Marko wants with Charles?” He finally asked. 

She shrugged. “I can’t know that.” 

“What could he do?” 

“Anything. Especially with Azazel as his right hand.” 

Erik rubbed at his eyes. “What could possibly keep Azazel loyal to Marko against his own will?” 

Raven frowned slightly. “You know, I was thinking about the same thing and the only thing I came up with is that Marko has some sort of hold over him.” 

“You mean like a spell?” 

She nodded. “Something like that. Perhaps he’s bound Azazel to himself.” 

“So that’s it then! If we free Azazel, he’d turn against Marko and Charles will be free of that man! Problem solved!” 

Raven grinned at him. “Good thinking!” 

“So how do we do that?” 

“Absolutely no idea.” 

Erik groaned. “Come on, you’re the demon here! You have to know these things.” 

She fell silent once again, thinking. “I guess I could talk to Azazel and ask him.” 

“Do that!” 

“But I need to be there, on Earth. I can’t contact him otherwise. Not if he’s under a spell.” 

“So let’s go on Earth then!” Erik decided. 

“It’s not that easy. He won’t trust me if he sees me with another human. He’ll think you’re using me.” 

Erik groaned. “Now you’re just looking for excuses.” 

“Would you have trusted him if he’d show up with a demon?” 

Erik sighed. “Good point. So you want to go there without me, is that it?” 

“I just need to do my thing without interruptions.” 

Erik considered it. Did he trust Raven enough to let her ditch him in Hell while she alone went back to Earth on a hazy demon mission to save Charles? 

“Fine.” he finally said. “But how can I be sure you won’t just lie to me? Hm?” 

Raven looked hurt. “So you don’t trust me after all!” 

“You’ve been nice to me since you died, Raven, but you’re still--” 

“A demon?” 

“Well…. Yes. You have no reason to want to help me or Charles. Like you said, I’m a nothing to you.” 

“I won’t go back on our deal…” Raven said quietly.

“It’s hard for me to trust, Raven. Not people, nor demons, nor angels. I don’t trust anyone. I’m all alone.” 

She looked at him for a moment and then her face brightened up. “Fine. Then there’s something to be done about that.” 

“What?” 

“You don’t trust anyone but you trust personal interests, don’t you? Well, I have a personal interest in this.” 

Erik frowned confused. “What personal interest could you possibly have here?”  

She leaned in closer to him as if sharing a secret. “I help Charles. I’ll make sure he’s safe and happy and well-taken cared of on Earth. But in return I want you to stay here in Hell with me. … And marry me.” 

Erik’s jaw slacked. “W-what.” 

“I want you to marry me, Erik. An unholly matrimony.” she said, her voice vibrated with excitement and enthusiasm. “The moment I return from Earth and Charles is all safe and sound we exchange our vows.  _ That’s  _ my personal interest in helping you.” 

Erik was blinking at her stupidly. “Why would you want that? I don’t understand….” 

She took yet another step closer, invading his personal space. Her hand rested on his cheek and her eyes met his, deep and intimate. “Because  _ I love you _ , Erik.” she said. “I’ve loved you for some time and I never even knew. At first I thought I just wanted to be you, to be a human. But then I realized I actually wanted to be  _ with  _ you. You’re  _ mine _ , Erik. You’re  _ my human _ and I don’t want anyone else to have you! You’re my love, my obsession, my addiction and I want you to vow to be with me for eternity! I want us to be wed.” 

“Raven…” 

She took a step back. “You have time till I finish the preparations for the departure.” she said. “Then it’s all up to you. Will you risk Charles’ wellbeing and go back to Earth, human, weak and without a plan. Or would you strike another deal with me to marry me and live with me as a demon in Hell in exchange for Charles’ happiness?” 

Erik swallowed. For the first time in his existence he had no idea what to say. 

~*~ 

Moira had stayed with Charles. They hadn’t talked much after their meeting with Emma Frost. Charles still felt a little awkward after what happened with Moria’s friend. Emma was alright now but she looked so weak and exhausted. The strain to reach Erik’s soul was too much for her and it was Charles’ fault that he would push her so hard. 

Moira seemed deep in thought too. As if something was troubling her but she couldn’t voice it yet. At first Charles thought he’d give them both time to process whatever each of them had to deal with. That would be the right thing to do, after all. But then he realized that recently he was not the patient man he used to be before Erik’s death. He had changed. And he couldn’t wait any longer. 

“Moira, you’re keeping something from me and I’d rather you be honest.” he said. His voice was surprisingly calm, considering that he was anything  _ but  _ calm. 

Moira hesitated. She seemed displeased that he had confronted her about whatever it was that was bothering her. 

“Moira.” Charles insisted. “Please.” 

Moira sighed. “Before we left Emma said something.” she muttered. “And I’m not sure if I should tell you, Charles.” 

“Well, now you definitely should.” he said, hands on his hips. 

Moira bit her lips. 

“Is it about Erik?” he asked, swallowing. 

She shook her head. “It’s not about Erik. It’s about you.” 

That was a surprise. “Me? What about me?” 

“You know, it’s probably nothing.” Moira waved it off. “Emma was quite tired, she probably didn’t know what she was talking about.” 

Charles grabbed her by the arm. “Tell me, Moira!” 

Moira glanced down at his fingers wrapped tightly around her and arched an eyebrow at him. He swallowed and let go. 

“I’m sorry…” 

She sucked in a deep breath. “Emma saw the Gift in you.” 

Charles furrowed his brows. “The gift…?” he asked, not quite following.

“Her gift. The ability to communicate with the spiritual world. Psychic abilities. Sixth sense, if you will. The power to look into other people’s minds.” 

Charles snorted. “That’s absurd! I have nothing of the sort and you know it.” 

“Emma said you were not aware of it yet.” 

“How can I not be aware of it if I had it? Moira, this makes no sense.” 

“I told you she probably didn’t know what she was talking about.” Moira shrugged. 

Charles thought about it for a moment. “Do you believe her?” 

Moira took a step towards him, placing her flat hand on his chest. Her eyes were intense on him as she spoke. “I don’t know. Emma’s never been wrong before. But who knows? This is weirder than my usual cases. But I think that if you have it, you must feel it. And if you do, perhaps that might be the key to finding Erik. If not, we’ll figure something else out.”  

Charles remained silent. Moira let him to his thoughts and went to take a shower. There was a decision ahead of him. A decision he alone had to make. Should he pursue this so called Gift? Should he try to unleash the possibility of that power inside him? If Emma was right about it and he did indeed have the Gift, then Moira was right. It could be the key to saving Erik. And if so, Charles had to do what was necessary. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the long wait! I'll try to update more regularly now.   
> Happy Fassy birthday!


End file.
